Some things to mention while writing this post....
This is my husband.
|this is his "im playing my video game" face|
He helps with our baby girl. And loves her to pieces.
I love our little family.
While our little family was growing we had to move away from family and friends. It's been rough for a first-time mom and in the cold cold cold.
So for awhile I was sitting at home, feeling guilty about EVERYTHING.
-my apartment wasn't clean
-no one could just "stop by" without me feeling bad about how awful our place looked
-i would feel like a horrible host
-when people did say they were coming i would have to run around like a crazy person (not fun with a newborn)
-i dont mean just typical picking up daily "stuff" but i mean deep clean like dusting, bathrooms, etc.
-and not spending time with Jesus every day like I wanted
-and not reaching out to those around us (ugg winter)
I felt terrible...I know I should not have felt bad, but I did.
But one day I sat down and said, "I have had enough!"
See I was arguing with myself and within myself. Confusing I know.
I have two personalities you see. I'm type A and type B.
Here's a quick explanation of both me and me.
Type As do appear to be more successful in terms of work accomplishments, but Type Bs are better able to enjoy the moment (and there are plenty of successful Type Bs). In reality, however, the Type A-B personality is a normally-distributed continuum, with relatively few people being strongly driven and competitive (As) or totally laid back (Bs). Most of us are probably slightly on one side or the other of the A-B divide.
I found that info here.
My type A self will say, "Get this place picked up!" and then type B says, "It's not a big deal. Just sit and eat your lunch....and take a chill pill."
But seriously, I got so annoyed at my Type B self, that it was getting to be too much.
So I had to change.
To make both my "types" happy I wrote down a list.
Things I wanted to get accomplished monthly, every two weeks, weekly, and daily. Then I drew myself a monthly calendar and filled it in with the things from my list.
I felt peace. I felt accomplishment. Type A self was so relieved and Type B liked the organization.
I was doing REALLY well with it! Yippee! Until one weekend some of the stuff just didn't get done. I was bummed.
Then I got busy. I was working really hard on not allowing Satan to get in the way of discouraging me.
This past week he tried to discourage me about other things too just to add some fun for him.
He tried it through Ellie (had a hard night one night in public which she never has EVER acted that way in her life). He tried it through my daily walk with God and in my devotion time. Once he couldn't win he got desperate and tried to mess with my mind about my marriage.
That is when I had ENOUGH.
Good bye Satan. My God is TOO big for you! And in prayer, with God's grace and mercy, He led me to peace.
And I'm so thankful that Friday night I could sit down on the couch, with a sleeping baby in her crib and talk to my hubby all about it. and he listened with concern. so thankful I opened up to him, but also glad I had not told him anything until then.
Satan is a trap. Don't let him win!!
Because if it's like my situation it will benefit....
-your inner thoughts
-your walk with God
-your encouragement for others
-the blessings from Above
Because our God is STRONGER than any other!!! :) (Love that song!)