Monday, April 15, 2013

Far from God

the more I think of all the church services I have missed (and will miss) with this morning sickness.....that lasts 24/7 may I add....makes me ponder some things.

i feel so far from God

i feel miserable.

i feel helpless.

i am helpless.

i am exhausted.

my stomach HURTS.

the gagging is getting old.

brushing my teeth makes me barf or close enough.

but seriously, Jesus, SAVE me!

i am helpless.

but i'm not far from God.

God has never left.

I just haven't drawn myself to Him.

Father, forgive them.

Forgive ME.

Tuesday, April 9, 2013

Ellie {6 months}

Ellie is 6 months old (as of last Thursday).  But this poor baby girl is dealing with a sick sick Momma!  Ugg, this second pregnancy has been much tougher than Ellie's.

So thankful for Daddy willing to help out.  He's been spending extra time with Ellie while Mommy is spending extra time resting and getting sick in the garbage or toilet.  Daddy changes her diapers and burps her for Mommy's sake.  He even got Ellie to learn to say "Da-Da" and "Ba-Ba!"

Ellie you are sweeter than sweet.  Mommy is so thankful she has such a sweet daughter, while she can hardly move!

Easter marked the day your bottom tooth started to pop through and it's still making its way out.  You have a runny nose like a faucet and Daddy does a great job helping clear it out so you can breathe while you nurse.

Ellie, we wonder if you'll ever know what it's like to be the only child in the family.  You'll be about 14 months old when your sibling comes along.  But you are not the stereotypical first-born.  You are very laid back and not at all demanding.  (Well, except when you're hungry you don't like to be passed around.)

Currently we are living at Grandma and Grandpa's house while we search houses for us to buy one.  However Mommy's sickies has kind of slowed that process down.  However Grandma and Grandpa are enjoying extra cuddles and smiles.

You are wearing 6 month clothes (and some 3-6 months depending on brand).  You like to wake up once in the night to nurse.  You are enjoying tummy time with some toys and love "talking" loudly from time to time.  Ellie, you are quick to smile even when tired.  If our next baby has any similarities as you, it will be so nice and helpful.  Your sweet, smiley personality is so contagious.  It gets this sick Momma to smile too!

Oh, dear Ellie, I apologize to you constantly these days.  I'm so sorry I'm so sick and not the usual Mommy you have gotten to know.  I ache to be "normal" again, but I know the end of this sickness is not near, it has JUST begun!

Sorry there are no pictures to show your growth.  It's all we can do baby girl to eat and change your diaper these days without Mommy getting sick while everyone else is gone during the day!

Friday, April 5, 2013

14 months apart

March 21st was the morning.  The morning Jon and I will definitely not forget.  (Well, I take that back, we might forget the EXACT date.)  However, we definitely will NOT forget the surprise.

That morning, 3am to be exact, Ellie woke up to eat.  After that I got this....

I went back into the bedroom where Jon and Ellie were waiting for me....

"Umm, Jon....uh, Ellie's going to have a sibling!!"

Jon knew it 99% sure before I even went to take the test.

But God, didn't you know I already had plans to have my kids 2 1/2 to 3 years apart???

God laughs.

For HE KNOWS THE PLANS He has for us.

Even though we try to make them up ourselves.

So to tell the family I got Ellie this:

Apparently places don't have 6 month onesies that say, "I'm a BIG SISTER" on them.  Hmm.... :)

I was going to wait and share with everyone once I was farther along but seriously, if you take one look at me it's not hard to tell.  I'm the walking stomach flu but not contagious.  Yesterday I was officially seven weeks along, and due November 21st.

This Christmas I'll have a one-year old and a newborn.  Oh boy what the next couple years will bring!

To answer some questions you may already be wanting to ask:

1. Did you plan this one?

2. Do you realize how close in age they will be?
Yes.  I'm seriously going to be done after two.  This morning sickness 24/7 is worse than anything.  EVER.

3. How does this pregnancy compare to Ellie's?
Before the sickness began I was super tired (and I still feel tired).  My awful sickness started sooner (just great!).  I weighed 10 more pounds so hopefully if I loose 10 pounds by week 10 (like I did with Ellie) it won't be AS bad.  It's harder because Ellie wakes up in the night and I wake up to this strong stomach ache.  However I just stay home with Ellie, so during the day is not nearly as bad.  So thankful she's not mobile yet.  Doing stairs is just as bad as Ellie's pregnancy.  I get dizzy, winded, and throw up or feel like I will.  Oh, and I also started to take my sickness medicine weeks sooner.  Plus, this time around I'm feeding THREE people instead of two.

4. Are you hoping for a boy or a girl?
Either one we're okay with.  I would like Jon to have a boy to play with.  But I know he'll be okay either way.  Long term it might be nice for Ellie to have a sister close in age, but it would be nice to have one girl and one boy. :)

Go ahead and feel free to ask me (us) any questions.  Just let me know. :)

In the mean time I'll be thanking my hubby for helping out with Ellie to keep me feeling better.  So thankful for his help!  Those 4am feedings, he burps her and changes her diaper for me AND gets her and puts her back to bed!  In the mornings when she wakes up he does it again, gets himself ready, and gets me my first meal of the day.  Uggh....this is my life again.  Sickness.  Awfulness.  Got to remember that sweet baby inside me.  Jon is so helpful and reminds me that it's just a baby growing inside me and it's staying healthy! :)  Because when you have NO breaks from feeling nauseous it is SO hard to press on!!