Wednesday, January 29, 2014

who wants to talk nursing?

This has been on Facebook....  wow.

Where do I even begin?  Victoria Secret has nice comfy jammies and nice undies.  Who am I kidding, I'll just say it, they have the stuff every girl needs.

However I can't stand Victoria Secret and all their ways of "advertising."  Do they really have to have practically naked women posted outside the store, throughout their stores, and being mailed into your home?  (I do NOT give my email address or home address!)  I want to shop there for what I NEED but when I'm with my hubby....he walks on the opposite side of the mall!  Thankful!

What do you do when you need to nurse?  Cover up or no covering?

A few weeks back I was shopping in a mall and Ellie needed me to nurse her.  Badly.  The cry where you know everyone around you can tell.  So I found the nearest "quiet area" and went was a dressing room near the baby/toddler clothes in Von Maur.  It was peaceful and I had a comfy spot to sit.  I even went into my own dressing room.  I didn't ask, I just did it!

Sometimes I nurse in the car because I know my outing will be a lot better once inside if Ellie has already nursed.  Plus in months prior she did NOT like a cover so it made her even more stressed out in public.  It worked best for us then, but now she does a lot better with the cover.  She does NOT like things to touch her while she's nursing.

I use a cover because my hubby says it's a good idea for the men out there.  Plus having the cover he said, "guys hardly notice that thing anyways."  Side note, I would use the cover anyways.  I'm just that 'type' of girl.

One time I nursed her on a bench in the middle of the mall.  I had "looks" but nothing too judgmental.  Another time I nursed her on a bench right outside the "kid play area" at the mall...figuring I would be given much less "looks."

I remember running errands one day and went to place that had no convenient location to nurse Ellie.  It was annoying and bothersome.

Why are breasts so sexually "out there" and no one thinks anything of it?  But then when women try to use them for the reason they were MADE FOR it's looked down upon or pushed aside?

When I need to nurse Ellie I chose a quiet place because it fits my daughter better to have no distractions nearby.  But if I had no other choice I nurse her right at the dinner table at a restaurant!  I don't choose a "hidden location" because I'm ashamed of nursing.

Whenever I see a nursing Mom I smile.  I don't know what that mom is thinking, but I want to encourage her and show her I'm comfortable with her decision-making.

Whenever I see this picture it makes me chuckle.  Jon sent it to me one time because it reminded him of Ellie.  The first few months Ellie nursed she would raise one of her arms while nursing.  It was so precious!

Wednesday, January 22, 2014

Letting Go

Journal Entry wrote 1.21.14 at 1:45am.  Why does the time matter?  Because it was my "I can't fall asleep until I write this down" kind of thoughts....

Approximately 9 weeks since Taylor's due date.

Approximately 8 weeks until Alex's due date.

My motherly arms are stretched so wide.  As I hold on to Ellie's hands as she persists to hold them--and not let go--I don't blame her.  Life is filled with fears and so many unknowns.  If we let go there can be so much heartache.

As I watch my daughter's fear creep in I notice my own hesitation.  I see so much of myself in her.  She trusts me where she knows I won't let go--I'm her mother.  But her greatest fear is letting go herself.  She can't imagine life without holding on to the reigns to hold on to her comfort level.  She'll continue on as long as you don't let go.  The moment the comfort level is swayed, all certainty is gone.  Her confidence disappears and all that is left is her fear (and sometimes tears).

But isn't that the same for me?

As soon as I don't feel comfortable anymore, my fear takes over and I demand control of the situation.

Just like Ellie allows those fears to rush in (keeping her from the opportunity to learn to walk), I too allow "things" to keep me from doing what I should be.

If I let go of my fear and allow myself not to stay comfortable-- I could learn "to walk."  But instead I daily resort back to my level of comfort...taking a deep breath and enjoying the "peace."  However we all know how short lived that peace truly is.

Peace as the result of not doing something you should be doing, its not peace but my deepest heart issue. COMFORT.


--I know my day-to-day routine.  If it's changed unexpectedly I'm so flustered.  I'm not "go with the flow" as much as I give off.
--I'm a night owl.  I plan appointments for afternoon to allow my slow moving mornings to be comfortable.
--Enjoying sugary snacks during my daughter's nap time or after she's down for the night to receive quick-fix of comforting my stress.
--Stuffing hard stuff because it's too uncomfortable to share what I'm thinking (it might hurt you to hear it so I hold back).
--More comfortable to just turn on TV then open a Bible.  *GASP*
--Hard to deal with unexpected life stuff (like sickness, miscarriage, or family matter) that effects my plans/routine.

Ellie will not walk on her own until she lets go or even learns to stand up without holding on to something.  Right now she is comfortable.  Too comfortable.

Time for us BOTH to learn to let go.



God's healing hands can pick me up and without a doubt and as many falls as it takes to learn to walk.

So much so in all areas of life.

Wednesday, January 15, 2014

Maxwell House Updates {edition three}

I'm low on decent pictures on the house....haven't been there for at least a month.  A few things have another update will be surely needed!

But as of now.....

We have a new BIG window in the
living room.

view from outside

And a new ceiling fan in our bedroom.  Which was needed because there was no overhead lighting in our bedroom.  Plus it's always nice to update ceiling fans.  I'm OCD about something like that.

Ignore the randomness.  My wife duties have not been there for awhile.  But hey, hubby made the bed before taking the picture! :)  Plus we haven't moved into the house yet so of course all the nice touches you make to a room to make it feel more like not done yet.  In that back corner between the windows will be our tall dresser.  Our guest bedroom will have to hold our other dresser.  (Dreaming of some day having a walk in closet and a bedroom big enough for all our furniture, but until then....)

All the painting has gotten done on the house (well the main level at least).  The basement isn't really ready for that, and the exterior will be done this spring/summer.  Thanks for my mom and her childhood friend for helping getting that step completely done!  Our kitchen has a wall full of blue and the accent blue wall in the dining room.  The curtains are hung up too.  My hubby also updated the light fixture.  It's amazing how much even THAT made a difference!
Before~ check out that old light fixture!

Before~boring walls

After~fun accent wall
*More update pics I will take soon.  This is just what Jon gave me from his smartphone.  

And here's some reminder updates of the living room.  However with the old window.

Hallelujah, privacy! ;)

The bathroom looks the same.  No toilet, no "walls," still a window, and everything bare.  Jon has a family friend with him this week helping him with the plumbing.  Jon has also purchased some electrical stuff needed.  He has messed with some wiring in the attic.  That way when it's time to put up drywall the electrical stuff will be more, well, done. :)  Slowly but surely that bathroom will get done!  And we'll be moving in February.

While back in Johnston Ellie and I are doing life day-to-day.  The typical errands, laundry, naps, meals, cleaning, etc.  But the major things that are needed done outside of the Maxwell House are things Jon and I do when he's not in Ames.

To Do List

--purchase dishwasher (the current one doesn't work and doesn't fit our dishes)
--washer & dryer (long story of what's going on there)
--purchase a counter top for our "planter box" in our kitchen.
*Eventually updating our kitchen, but in the meantime we're not going to knock down our planter box thing.  Otherwise we would have to mess with the flooring, which won't get done until we do the rest of the kitchen.  One thing leads to another.  We plan on covering it with a large counter top and putting our bar stools underneath for more counter top space and seating for the mean time.  
Here's that planter box before plants were taken out.

--Purchase Living Room Rug (We have one picked out but we have to make final decision.  It's actually carpet that they can cut custom size and make it into a rug.)
--Making decisions on bathroom items (floor tiling, vanity counter top, paint colors & decor)
--Organize all our STUFF.
*That will take a huge step in this process.  We've been living out of suitcase items since March!  But we've had to dig through our packed boxes to find things throughout the year.  It was miserable.  I'm ready to not be living in boxes anymore!  Now we need to "pack" things back up to be all ready for when the movers come.  We need the boxes packed tight and taped up!  It will be quite the job, but must be done!
--Go through clothes, AGAIN.  I did this when we were packing up a year ago, but I feel like it needs done again.  There's so many clothes (thanks to hand me downs) and we surely have plenty of clothes we could give away.  It's seriously ridiculous.  Our new house will not be able to hold all the clothes we have now.  Wait, I take that back.  The basement could store stuff, but that's dumb.  However I know it's a hard stage right now for me to figure out what to get rid of....oh the joys of body changes after pregnancy, two miscarriages, etc.  Still holding on to maternity for the future.  But as of now we can't hold on to everything we got as of now.  Too much.

If you have any helpful ideas for getting rid of clothes....please, let me know!

Well, until future pictures and more updates come.....
I'll end with a picture of my Christmas present from my parents.  Our entryway now has a makeshift "mudroom." :)

Bench with storage & hooks galore

Wednesday, January 8, 2014

Interview with Ellie

Questions for Ellie....

How old are you?
I turned 15 months old on 1/4/14

What's your favorite food?
num num num give me sweet potatoes, finger foods, fruit (especially strawberries), applesauce, puffs, and spaghetti

What's your favorite thing to do?
sleep, but if I'm not sleeping I like to hold your hands and have you help me walk.  I'm also getting better at playing make believe.  I like to hold toys and have them "talk."  I also know who has a smartphone.

Who do you like to spend time with?
My daddy makes me the happiest person ever.  I smile and get all giddy when I get to see him.  I pick him over Mommy all the time.  But I want my mommy when Daddy is gone or if I'm tired, because that means I get Mommy's milk.  Grandma and Grandpa are pretty special too.  Grandparents are great, because I can get them to do tonight I had Grandpa walk laps with me (holding my hands) around the house.  I also like my relatives.  My aunts, uncles, and cousins are fun.  They are filled with energy and love.



What are your favorite words to say?
"no-no-no" I use this a lot because I know it lets people know I don't agree with the situation.  sometimes I like to feed myself and for some odd reason they think I can't feed myself.
"Mommy" or "Mom-ma" It lets my Momma know I want to nurse.
"Ball" I like playing with my new Christmas toys.
"Abby" My grandparents dog is pretty silly.  I get annoyed with all her barking though.  It catches me off guard, but Mommy is my life saver and lets me know I'm safe.
"Daddy" I use this word more often then Mommy.  He is the best!  He stops eating his supper (which Mommy says is his first meal of the day sometimes) and he'll take care of me.  When he's gone during the week he can't wait to see me!  Sometimes he even walks past Mommy to see me!  I'm the cute one. :)

June 2013

What's your favorite memory?
I have plenty!  The first day Mommy and Daddy brought me home, Daddy warmed my bouncy seat so it wouldn't be cold.  The apartment was freezing!  There was also those few nights I got to cuddle in bed with Mommy and Daddy because I didn't know what bedtime meant.  (Now I know.)  I also like to see people's reaction when I giggle.  Apparently it's the cutest thing ever, or at least that's what I hear them say all the time.  I also like it when Mommy and Daddy play games with me.  We like to play catch, or Daddy puts me on his shoulders and we play chase with Mommy!  I laugh so hard, it's so much fun!

June 2013

What is your greatest fear?
Letting go to walk.  I just can't do it.  Some day it might not be so scary, but for now the thought of letting go is just too scary.  I hold on to people's hands and let them know I want them to help me walk laps.  Or some times I walk furniture to get what I want, but I always crawl.  I'm fast, so why try to walk which seems so slow?

While I'm asking you these questions you are playing with a napkin.  
I like the simple things in life.  All these toys scattered around are just things.  But a napkin.  I've had fun cleaning the table so far....and now ripping the napkin into a thousand pieces.  But Mommy says "whatever keeps me happy."  Isn't that so nice of her?

Thursday, January 2, 2014

Smartphone Chat

I know it.  You know it.  Three-year olds know more about smartphones than most adults!  So almost two years ago when hubby brought up the topic of him and I finally owning a smartphone I almost fell off my seat!  I was pumped.  I was like a little kid on Christmas!  I was delighted.  Flip phones were so last year forever ago.  Hubby spent many nights browsing exactly what we should get.  Before he even mentioned us getting one, he was searching!  He wanted the perfect smartphone that fit exactly what we would use it for.

My husband makes thoughtful decisions when it takes hundreds of our dollars.

Jon and I both came into the marriage as savers of money.  Neither of us were big spenders.  I was known in my family as the one who was the best saver.  Now that I'm married to Jon, I now look like a spender compared to him.  That's not a bad thing necessarily, let me make myself clear.  Just to explain our comparison.

It was time!  For Christmas Jon asked money to go towards his smartphone.  He was going to get his first so I could "play around" with it, to make sure I would like it.  (I'm picky with tech gadgets apparently.) ;)

This past week his phone came in the mail and ever since he's been hooked! :)  He loves it and we feel great about the decision!  It was worth the wait.  See, before we would've just been "another person" with a smartphone.  But now we're finally with one.  Smartphones are not the "gadget of the year" but we feel like it is!  We are enjoying it more now, than we could have years ago.  We waited.

And I know many young elementary-aged kids owned a smartphone before us, but they will never truly understand the joy of saving money and time.  Which brings up another annoying topic.  Kids and tech gadgets.  Don't get me started.  JUST DON'T.  Hence the reason why I'm putting this smartphone post on the blog rather than Facebook.  I'll get too fired up about young kids and owning tech gadgets.

Help me understand why seven year olds need a smartphone?  Help me understand why eight year olds name it! :)

Last time I thought back to my childhood I remember climbing trees, playing football in our side yard, and riding our bikes to a nearby pond and feeding ducks.  Oh I miss those simple days.  I wish the next generation had it like that too.  Now all they want is a smartphone in hand to "entertain" themselves because "down time" is not an option or okay.  What?

Okay, done with that.  Would love to hear your thoughts.  But only by commenting here or emailing me.  Thank you.

P.S.  Keep thoughts light and open minded please.  I know this topic has the option of getting heavy.

P.S.S.  Growing up we did have TV on or sometimes Nintendo going, so don't think I'm against using technology from time to time.  Just to make that clear.  I just don't like the constant need to use it, replace it with other entertainment when not needed, etc.  There's a time and place.