Today I felt both annoyed and painfully sad at my reactions. I was so focused on making sure I could prove to myself, "I can do this!" Look how well I am able to manage this! In the mean time I didn't get a chance to engage
Let me explain for those of you who can't read my mind.
I've been watching everyone elses kids for 10 years. I have showered them with love, adoration, energy, and well myself! So that all of you parents could work, take a break, or whatever. I've watched your kids in the following (for you one of these and some others in mulitple ways) : a day care senting, church nursery, Sunday school class, VBS, dancing, babysitting, their nanny, and last but not least their aunt. Overall I can say children our a gift to us sent from Above to learn more about Him. He loves them. We should have child-like faith...etc etc. Kids ARE a gift and a blessing. Sometimes we just don't always see it that way until later....
Today (through tomorrow) my sister is/was counting on me to watch three of her four boys (ages 6, 3, and 16 months). My husband is here for help (and support). My brother is also chilling with us also. (Who am I kidding? Just chillin' with kids around?) Moving on.....
Sorry my mind is mumble jumble right now. Like I said, thoughts for 10 years now!
I love, adore your kids I do...I promise. And no, when I become a parent I won't say "whoops you were right!" Because I have nothing that I am saying that you are doing WRONG about your parenting. Yes, I discuss with my husband, "What would we do if we had a child with this personality...etc etc?" We also talk about how we plan on "talking" to our kids, and rod vs no rod etc.
But can I be honest here?
Is it okay for me to say, I would do some things differently if I was in their shoes?
Why should I get "the look" from people/parents if I say that (or if something like that gets mentioned)?
How is it any different then any thing else that I would do differently in my life compared to yours. Like how I spend my money as an example.
Okay now that I have explained that thought I can move on to the next one.....
I really want to be a parent that doesn't give "one more chance" after I already said it was the last chance.
Yes I will leave a store if that's what I said I would do.
Yes I will say no even though I'll end up with a tantrum because of it. Yes even if it wakes up the baby when it lets loose.
Yes my kids are homeschooling, and pj's will be a definite option. :) (had to add that thought)
Yes I will spank my kids if they disobey.
Yes I will apologize to them when I make mistakes so they learn, authority (parents, government) isn't perfect. It's a great lesson to learn WHICH authority is Perfect!
Yes I will feed my kids fast food from time to time.
Please don't give me the guilty look down.
Yes I plan on breast feeding.
Yes I plan on my babies not always sleeping in the same place. Can't miss out on small group! :) Right guys? :)
The list goes on.....but you get the idea right? I have these things I'm sticking to you. Go ahead and laugh now....."Mary you will change them! Especially when you are a parent."
You know what. Of the things listed above...the ones I am able to do to kids even though they are not my own...I'm sticking to them. I don't go back on my word!
The struggle in parenting is....
grace versus how much judgement/discipline?
Let God be the answer of that.
I prayed tonight on my way back from Target thinking....I better talk to my little nephew Sam tomorrow. Make sure our relationship is okay. He wouldn't go to sleep tonight, kept yelling out. Making excuses. It's his thing he does. Manipulater is his middle name, sometimes. But if you stick to your guns, he will eventually drift off to sleep. And that "scary monster by the closet because you won't let the room be bright enough" is not there anymore. By the time he heard "spankin" out of my mouth he was brought to tears. That poor boy. When do you find the right way to do things when he's the boy who called wolf?
Later when I see you in person you mention how you follow my blog! Thanks for letting me know that I'm not just writing a journal online for myself. :) Please comment so I know you know what's been on my heart these past 10 years. And sorry, I