Saturday, December 17, 2011

10 years of struggle...Discipline vs Grace and TASKS vs TIME

It's the first day off of my normal routine and my heart is already struggling.  I'm trying to figure things out that have been growing on my mind for the past 10 years!  I can't get it out of my head and days like today just give me more of a reason to keep it there.  Stuck.  In that part of the brain where it likes to stay and then randomly shoot off and drive you nuts.
Today I felt both annoyed and painfully sad at my reactions.  I was so focused on making sure I could prove to myself, "I can do this!"  Look how well I am able to manage this!  In the mean time I didn't get a chance to engage really at all.

Let me explain for those of you who can't read my mind.

I've been watching everyone elses kids for 10 years.  I have showered them with love, adoration, energy, and well myself!  So that all of you parents could work, take a break, or whatever.  I've watched your kids in the following (for you one of these and some others in mulitple ways) : a day care senting, church nursery, Sunday school class, VBS, dancing, babysitting, their nanny, and last but not least their aunt.  Overall I can say children our a gift to us sent from Above to learn more about Him.  He loves them.  We should have child-like faith...etc etc.  Kids ARE a gift and a blessing.  Sometimes we just don't always see it that way until later....

Today (through tomorrow) my sister is/was counting on me to watch three of her four boys (ages 6, 3, and 16 months).  My husband is here for help (and support).  My brother is also chilling with us also.  (Who am I kidding?  Just chillin' with kids around?)  Moving on.....
Sorry my mind is mumble jumble right now.  Like I said, thoughts for 10 years now!
I love, adore your kids I do...I promise.  And no, when I become a parent I won't say "whoops you were right!"  Because I have nothing that I am saying that you are doing WRONG about your parenting.  Yes, I discuss with my husband, "What would we do if we had a child with this personality...etc etc?"  We also talk about how we plan on "talking" to our kids, and rod vs no rod etc. 

But can I be honest here?
Is it okay for me to say, I would do some things differently if I was in their shoes? 
Why should I get "the look" from people/parents if I say that (or if something like that gets mentioned)?
How is it any different then any thing else that I would do differently in my life compared to yours.  Like how I spend my money as an example.

Okay now that I have explained that thought I can move on to the next one.....
I really want to be a parent that doesn't give "one more chance" after I already said it was the last chance.
Yes I will leave a store if that's what I said I would do.
Yes I will say no even though I'll end up with a tantrum because of it.  Yes even if it wakes up the baby when it lets loose.
Yes my kids are homeschooling, and pj's will be a definite option. :)  (had to add that thought)
Yes I will spank my kids if they disobey.
Yes I will apologize to them when I make mistakes so they learn, authority (parents, government) isn't perfect.  It's a great lesson to learn WHICH authority is Perfect!
Yes I will feed my kids fast food from time to time.
Please don't give me the guilty look down.
Yes I plan on breast feeding.
Yes I plan on my babies not always sleeping in the same place.  Can't miss out on small group! :) Right guys? :)
The list goes on.....but you get the idea right?  I have these things I'm sticking to you.  Go ahead and laugh now....."Mary you will change them!  Especially when you are a parent."
You know what.  Of the things listed above...the ones I am able to do to kids even though they are not my own...I'm sticking to them.  I don't go back on my word!

The struggle in parenting is....
grace versus how much judgement/discipline?

Let God be the answer of that.

I prayed tonight on my way back from Target thinking....I better talk to my little nephew Sam tomorrow.  Make sure our relationship is okay.  He wouldn't go to sleep tonight, kept yelling out.  Making excuses.  It's his thing he does.  Manipulater is his middle name, sometimes.  But if you stick to your guns, he will eventually drift off to sleep.  And that "scary monster by the closet because you won't let the room be bright enough" is not there anymore.  By the time he heard "spankin" out of my mouth he was brought to tears.  That poor boy.  When do you find the right way to do things when he's the boy who called wolf?

Later when I see you in person you mention how you follow my blog!  Thanks for letting me know that I'm not just writing a journal online for myself. :)  Please comment so I know you know what's been on my heart these past 10 years.  And sorry, I kind of took you on a wild ride to get to my point!  Or maybe you are still confused.  Either way, leave me a comment and let me know what you think.  And parents, this was not meant to dis you or anything.  I love spending time with children (yours too)!  And Melissa, I love your boys!  I just wish I got more time to spend with each one like I used to so I can focus more on a relationship versus the TASKS of the day!  But I know we as mothers and/or caretakers struggle with tasks and busyness of the day vs quality time with children.  Please let me know I am not alone in this!

Friday, December 16, 2011

The Semester Ends!

Sorry for not keeping you updated for awhile.  I have plenty to say but less than 10 minutes before I have to get going.  Since my last post I've gotten sick twice and then the days I wasn't it was "catch up days" on the apartment and on poor husband!  This past week is a blur.  I was sick for two days practically.  Jon had a final on Monday, worked on Tuesday, studied on Wednesday, and two finals on Thursday.  Now he is completely done and only has one more semester of college left!  You can only imagine our excitement!!! :)

We had it planned that Thursday night we would celebrate.  He got home from work and I was all dressed up and ready to go out!  He wanted to walk around and just enjoy the fact he is completely we picked something near the mall.  Fazoli's.  We sat down and I handed him a card. :)  My hubby's love language is words and he said if you ever want to give me a gift, just give me a card.  It's cheaper, but it means more.  Okay! :)  I can do that!! :)
(Sorry I meant to have us take our picture while we were out or before we left but I forgot since he came home and was SO hungry!)

After eating we walked around the mall and I got a couple things that I've been needing to get.  The rest of the  time was fun just to window shop. :)  He pulled the car up (burr was it cold!) and we went home.  We had planned to go to Dairy Queen (since we had coupons) but it sounded like too much.  So we got home and grabbed a few snacks junk food that we have around the apartment and watched Live Free or Die Hard that we got on Black Friday for $5.  Now that's awesome! :)  What a fun date! :)

Here's a link to the trailer.  Don't watch if you don't like action movies, seeing intense stuff, or blood.
I don't mind this stuff.  Someday we'll have a movie theater in our house but until then......
Happy Friday everyone!  Hope I get to post some more before Christmas.  Jon and I will be all over the place this year.

Saturday, December 3, 2011

Christmas Letter 2011

Jon and I love receiving pictures and updates about your family and we know how much fun it is to receive one. :)  However we feel like at this time in our life our letter wouldn't be worth sending out financially.  So I will sit down with Jon sometime and we will write you a letter and post it here for all of you to enjoy.  However I haven't seen my hubby for over 24 hours.  Which is a big deal to me due to my top two love languages being touch and time together.  However I'm looking forward to tomorrow evening when we finally get to see each other!!

Jon has been so overly stressed over all the school work that is due and it's been intense.  It also didn't help that Wed-Friday I was sick.  He has a lot left to do before Monday and I can only imagine what the next two weeks are going to look like.  Hallelujah only one more semester left of this!  May is going to be such an AWESOME month and I just can't wait!

But let me tell you a few things that have been our highlights through out this year. :)

January:  a fun-filled family vacation in Kansas City at Great Wolf Lodge

Jon and I holding nephew,
Frank at dinner time
February: I had an interview to become a nanny in Ames. :)

March: Now knowing I got the position, I wasn't planning on starting until April 1st.  However their previous nanny had her baby early and they needed me March 21st. :)
The girl's new bedroom since she became a big sister,
August 2011
April: filled with fun weekend parties and preparing for our friends Ryan and Britney's wedding in May. :)
Easter <3
May: a busy month no matter what.  My sister, Melissa and I share a birthday on the 5th, Rosebud meetings Sunday nights, parties for Britney's upcoming wedding, their wedding on the 21st, and brother Ryan's birthday the 30th.  May was also a month of  a huge blessing.  I was supposed to end my nanny position around the 15th.  However they decided to hold on to me, and Jon and I have been thankful for the wonderful provision.

Birthday Cake!

June: one-year anniversary! :)  We enjoyed a getaway at Bed & Breakfast in Jon's hometown.  This month Jon and I also got the privilege of going on our first mission's trip together as a couple.  We went to South Dakota Indian Reservation.  It was my eighth year going, and Jon's first.  It was a great experience for both of us and I was joyfully showing him why my heart is so stretched there. :)
Our room on our anniversary getaway
The best picture we got of the two of us on our anniversary.....ooops!

Rosebud Mission Trip in Ideal, SD

Jon and I serving the team together :)
July: Chances of spending time with family for birthdays, the holiday, and cousin's wedding.
Fourth of July (we both had blue suckers)

Jon caught this:: my cousin's wedding
August: was a wonderful month :)  Before school started back up for Jon we were blessed to have our friends Mike and Megan get married.  We also went on a couple's vacation with Ryan and Britney in Kansas City.  August 31st the family I nanny for went from having one to two kids.  Making my job a little bit more interesting. :)
Yeah for marriage party! :)  Mike & Megan!
World's of Fun
(vacation with newlywed friends)

World's of Fun with friends! :)
September: Annual Tometich Family reunion (my dad's side) and then Labor Day at Adventureland.  My small group also helped me surprise Jon for his birthday by hanging out at Ledges State Park.

Nephews and niece celebrating Jon for bday
October: We had our two nephews stay over night (my sister's oldest boys).  She went down to Kansas City to help my other sister prepare to get her new house ready to move in.  October also means Jon's friend's annual Harvest Party.  Later this month Jon and I met up with my parents and brother to help my sister out on her new house.
Playing with my sister's girls while everyone else worked on getting new house ready to move into
November: So excited to announce that this is the month when our small group officially started consistently! :)  We've really enjoyed seeing--Ryan, Britney, Mike, and Megan--every Sunday night.  It's been a blessing to grow along side of them and continue to pray and keep each other accountable.  There's a picture of us all at Adventureland (Labor Day) on the side of this blog.  We also chuckle how all of the women in the small group has worn the same veil at their own wedding. :)  And of course November is also a month of Thanks and enjoying time with family and friends...and can't forget all the good food!

Our Newlywed Small Group :)
Jon's extended family
Thanksgiving table
December:  Even though it has just begun, there's already plenty to share.  Jon has a lot of updates on his future and right now really focused on getting this semester accomplished.  I miss being able to spend time with him and thankful for the times when I get a chance to be with him.  Jon has a face interview with Principal this coming Friday.  It would be a position for this coming summer, which would begin immediately following his college graduation.

Over all, 2011 has given us a chance to lean on God for His provision.  To fully grow in our faith in Him and know Who has the best plan for us.  We are so thankful for everyone who has supported us and prayed for us along the way.  We've been enjoying this year and a half together as husband and wife, and would like to take this moment to thank all of you for your support and interest in investing your time in giving us wisdom and used your gifts to encourage our relationship.  God's provision has definitely been clear this year and we just want to give Him all the praise for where we are today.  To Him be the glory for ever and ever.  Amen.