Sunday, November 22, 2015

My Blessed Pregnancy

Dear Hy-Vee employee,

Today I had a toddler yelling and screaming the whole way out of church after hearing an encouraging message and I was pumped for the week.  I had to sit in the car listening to my three-year old cry her eyes out of hunger and overly tiredness, instead of talking nicely with my husband about applications to the sermon.

After lunch and toddler asleep I ran to Hy-Vee.  Alone.  It was going to be great!  I walk in and get delighted that a few things on my list are on sale today.  I am lucky to get a free sample of frozen chocolate pie.  What 25 week pregnant woman would say no to chocolate pie?  Especially months of losing 20 pounds and puking nonstop!

I found the shortest line to check out (I wanted to get home to enjoy piece and quiet while toddler was still asleep and hubby is home).  A male at the register and you were the young lady to put my items into bags.  You seemed nice and efficient so I could get out fast.  That was nice....until you opened your mouth for small talk.  I'm sure your job gets really boring and all, and you love to meet all sorts of people.  But maybe next time... next time DON'T talk to a pregnant women this way:

"When are you due?"
"March 7th."
"Oh wow!  That far off?"
"Umm....yes."
"I have a friend due in March and she doesn't even look pregnant!!"
"Yeah, I'm not blessed in pregnancies.....I lost 20 pounds in the first trimester."
Then you decided to look at me like I was crazy.  How could I look "THAT" pregnant with my due date so far off AND having lost 20 pounds!?!?


I'm officially 25 weeks pregnant tomorrow thank you very much.  I'm proud of this bump!  I actually prefer a bump over not showing at all.  Because those moments pregnancy causes me to feel breathless, nauseous, and miserable at least people see a bump and have sympathy.  First trimester I have NOTHING to show the public unless I wear my ultrasound picture on my sweaty, dirty forehead.

I don't know what to tell strangers when they ask personal questions about my pregnancy.  Do I dare share this is my FOURTH pregnancy, not my first?  Do I dare make it more awkward (but maybe helping the stranger learn some tact) that I've lost two babies and this bump is a BLESSING!?  How do I find a phrase to say when people share their inner most thoughts on how I look and what I should be as a pregnant woman?  So many women would do ANYTHING to have a rainbow baby, and I was fortunate to have mine be 25 weeks along in the cooking process.  My sweet baby boy has a story.  This bump is a blessing, not a curse.  

Young lady bagging my groceries maybe next time instead of pointing out my big bump, maybe I should have been quick to come back with "my bump is a blessing so stop making it seem like it's a curse."  But there's so much heartache in reference to my pregnancies that I couldn't bare say anything at all.  I'm not blessed with pregnancies.  I'm miserable while pregnant.  But if anything, I can enjoy my bump, my baby kicks, and know that he is growing inside me.  And hopefully someday I can meet him and he will be healthy.

So, next time instead of making a pregnant woman feel HUGE and feel like something is seriously wrong with her.....just say, "March is a great time to have a baby!"  Because honestly, I'm looking forward to the holidays filled with food.  And I don't mind if it makes me gain a few extra pounds.  Because I'm thankful I'm not puking anymore, and I'm thankful God gave me a blessing of this baby boy.

Signed,
Your blessed pregnant customer