As you all have read about by now, it's been a hard year for the both of us. But the first couple years of our marriage wasn't bows and candy either! It was more like "pathetic wife" and "I must learn to deal with emotions I've never known were even possible."
Our first year of marriage was me learning how to be a house wife. I was future-planing of bigger rooms and a nice house. We were in a small one-bedroom apartment and it was not even $500/month. Which is good for a college town. But our neighbors were...well interesting. One night I even heard my hubby say, "Umm, Mary, I haven't been telling you this but there has been a homeless guy living in the hallway of our building." Someday these type of memories we can share with our kids and what newlywed life can be like!
|living, office, dining room combo ;P|
This first year of marriage also brought on stress because I did not have a job for the first eight or so months. We had plenty of money but wanted to keep our savings account for larger expenses in the future. I searched and searched, but my "picky" choosing was getting tough as time went on. I knew I would need a job that I liked if I was going to do it until I became a mom. That's when God led me to the best job. EVER. :) I'm so thankful...and through it all Jon stood by my side. And the blessings were overflowing!!
Our second year of marriage we started off with a bang! :) We were so thankful the first year wasn't crazy awful like some were giving us a heads up about! We learned how to live together, communicate well, and learned a lot about family dynamics. (Like my hubby does not like to use the vacuum like my daddy! or the way we enjoy our free time.) Our communication couldn't get any better (and has gotten even better since). We were getting a rhythm down on how we were going to do things our "own way" as starting our own family's ways of doing things.
Then we found out we were pregnant.
Our days changed forever.
He had to help me daily (more like hourly) on day to day things. He even stopped by my work (the house where I was the nanny) to help me feed the kids and me, clean their house, and entertain them while I was leaning over the toilet or needing to just rest my stomach. It was almost like a practice run of how future pregnancies would look when we had multiple kids. Jon was awesome. It was then that he was excited if it was a girl. (He had a lot of time with their oldest, a girl.) :) I remember putting their baby to bed, cleaning the kitchen, and hearing Jon and her playing downstairs laughing. It brought a smile to my face picturing our family some day. :)
But saying that reminds me, Jon was a true trooper! 100% willing to help me out. Even though Ellie turned out to look more like her Daddy, I'm totally okay with that! Jon deserves that sweet girl to look like him. He was by my side through the entire pregnancy, labor and delivery, and of course my recovery!
Our third year of marriage was when Ellie was born, he quit his job in Cedar Rapids, we moved, we miscarried twice, and bought a house. Am I forgetting anything? I hope not. It was a BIG year. But I wouldn't want to have anyone else but him as the one by my side. He has been there. He cares more about me than himself through it all. He is loving, compassionate, and strong. He doesn't let us fall asleep until we talk (it's always been that way). He knows when we need to talk and he has figured out when to just "be there" for me. He is the one willing to get Ellie in the night to bring her to me to nurse. He changes her diaper and returns her to bed. That started when I was too pregnant sick to do it, and has continued to do it ever since. He loves that moment with her, even though he is not a morning person!
|our new house!|
You can truly see his heart when he looks at Ellie. He can hardly go a day without seeing her or hearing about what she has been up to. He does everything he can to make sure he spends time with her. He stops eating if he knows she needs some lovin'. He's willing to drop everything and feed her, hold her, and play with her. He will even stop his own "free time" choices to help me with the parenting thing. He couldn't be a better Daddy.
My favorite time of the day is when he comes home from work and Ellie's response. It's not always the same. But she seriously stops what she is doing and happily goes to him! Jon usually can't wait and hurries to her side and picks her up! :) Ellie's first word was Daddy! and her first two words together were, "Hi Daddy!" She literally loves her Daddy with all that she can give! She smiles uncontrollably. And when he stays the night in Ames looks in the place on the bed where he normally sleeps and says "Dad-dy..." Almost like, "Where are you Daddy?"
During the miscarriages he was right by my side...just like he was with Ellie's birth. It was like we were giving birth to another baby. He was willing to hold my hand as I "labored" and gave me encouragement. He carried me back to bed to keep me from passing out when I was anemic during Taylor's "birth." That same man who was not so into girly bodily functions, was right there with me every step of the way! He was in the bathroom. He was helping me clean up. He was kneeling down at my side willing to help in any way he could. He was there for me physically, emotionally, and spiritually. He searched the Scripture for helpful steps of processing it all. He talked with me hours on end to figure out what was truly happening. He was willing to talk about it --A LOT.
He let me get all my thoughts out, even if they didn't make much sense. He let me get it all out in the open. He didn't make fun of any of my feelings...he never has. About anything. He lets me be my true self. And that's how we are able to be where we are today. We can be OURSELVES, our true selves around each other. We can speak our mind. We can open up. We can listen. We can talk. We can be stupid. We can cry. We can be mad. We can let it all out. And we don't look at each other any different because of it. That love is something I was always praying for in a mate. And truly thankful. Thankfully God led me to him. :) We've been through a LOT these past few years. So thankful I got to walk along side of him through it all!
Thank you dear hubby. You've been great! Thanks for letting me be....well, me!
Time to get in a wedding dress again.... :)
|the day I finally got to say "I DO!"|