Set Free

Jon's birthday was 9/20/13 and he willingly drove hours to go see my sister's daughter (our niece) for her birthday the following day.  We went out to eat (Mexican of course) and then drove straight down to KC.  My mom had made a pumpkin pie and had it on our table in our room to surprise him! :)  I felt so blessed he was willing to make the drive/trip on his birthday to make the weekend special for me.  The week prior was a horrible week.  We had miscarried for the second time.  We had not been on a trip since March (the last time we went to KC before finding out we were pregnant with Taylor).  This time it was a good "moving on" trip.  A joy to be around family.  I blessing to get out of our usual routine.  Yes, we could have done some painting at the house or worked more on just everything that needs done on the house...but he did the trip for me. :)  We talked.  It was discussed.  My body had bounced back enough to make the trip.  It was worth it!  We got refreshe

My sweet baby would be due in four short weeks . And as I shopped for my sweet Ellie today, I happened to see the sales rack at baby GAP.  In the maternity section.  GRR. During the day I have seen multiple pregnant women, sweet sleeping newborns, and a woman complaining of her pregnancy (due in eight weeks).  However, I would have been due in four weeks.  But I was not complaining.  In the "real world" no one could see that I had anything to complain about.  But every pregnant woman is asked, "How are you feeling" or "How much longer?"  But someone who has miscarried can't cry out, "HEY!  I would be due to have a baby soon!  I'm not big and feeling like a watermelon about to explode, but I do feel like my eyes will!"   And people are not coming up to me asking how I am doing.  People have no idea.  I have no belly to tell the world.  But I hide behind the racks.   I have nothing to tell the person complaining of her discomfort.  Ye

honestly, i dont know why i decided to post this.  which could be a bad thing.  because when i just randomly write my thoughts here, there's no purpose.  and i really like to post here when there is a good reason.  because really, who wants to read random ramblings from inside my brain?  oh, sorry honey.  you're the one who has to hear them.  ALWAYS. but then...i guess this post is useful.  my hubby is not here, so here you go: April was rough.  I was sicker than ever.  I was pregnant and nauseous.  May was hard because I miscarried my baby.  August was unhappily a repeat because I was sick with the next pregnancy, but trying to stay focused on a sweet baby I would meet in the spring.  a family we were making.  then September hit and we miscarried another baby.  this time i became even more of a wreck than i did before.  i missed my babies more each day and i tried to stay positive. And then October hit.  My firstborn's first birthday was a blast. and this Mommy

I have a daughter who is one year old...WHAT? I am still amazed that she has been OUT of me longer than she was ever growing INSIDE of me! **Note: I add details that you probably don't care to know about, but this is also a way for me to keep this memory for her.  So feel free to pass by the details and enjoy her birthday weekend...** Her birthday was on Friday, October 4th and all day she was talking up a storm!  She was especially happy as if she knew it was a special day for her! :) iPod quality pic of my birthday girl Once she went to sleep I went crazy getting the party decor up and setting things up for her party the following day.  I'm a list person, so I had already made a list of things that I had hoped to accomplish before hitting the pillow and then things saved for the day of the party. Our little "Lady" had turned one and I kept things red, black, and white (minus the food).  The previous week, whenever she went to bed and hubby was