Friday, March 29, 2013

What would you do?

i hold her in my arms.

i pray nothing will ever harm her.


i do everything i can, to give her what she needs.

i know her cries, whimpers, and noises.

i know her favorite ways of being comforted.

but I don't know what I would do without her.

and as a parent, thinking of being without her makes me want to fall apart.

But that's what our Father did.

He gave us HIS SON so we could live.

So I could hold my daughter.

and that we would be delivered.

and you too.

Thursday, March 21, 2013

the perfect internet mother

Wake up.  Check email.

Feed kids.

Check Pinterest for a new idea for dinner.

Post pictures of your little darlings in their perfect matching outfits and combed hair on Facebook.

Lunch!  Taking the time to make those cool looking lunches.

During nap time: checking Facebook, getting dinner started

Post a picture of your dinner.  Blog the recipe with a super duper delicious looking picture of it.

Check your phone for news updates, weather updates, or updates in general.

Put the kids to bed or snuggle reading them a story from their kindle or ipad.

Write a Facebook status about how thankful you are for your wonderful, delightful children.

Sound familiar?

More like, look familiar?

The internet can be a blessing to us but sometimes it gets in the way.  It changes our hearts, minds, and time for the better (or worse).  Facebook, instagram, blogs, and the list goes on and on with how easy it is to post a simple picture of your sweet kiddos.

I'm thinking reality here.

I'm human.  I'm not perfect.  When I wake up I want to go back to sleep.  I snuggle with my daughter and wish I could just close my eyes and get more sleep.  I see everyone on Facebook posting all these great status' and pictures about how great their life is, and yes, I'm truly happy for them.  But reality for me is this.

Life isn't perfect and the easy access to all our devices is causing this weird crazy thing.  When I post a picture of my daughter....

I'm not a photo genius.  I don't have special effects.  In this case I had my ipod handy.  (Jon and I don't own iphones and I'm not one to mess with a picture to make it perfect.)  I just post the picture how it is.  I know, weird.  Can you imagine?  How different the Facebook world would be if we didn't change pictures before posting them, made the caption fit exactly what was happening, and not trying to boast?

Ellie's mohawk in that picture happened after I gave her a bath.  I did nothing to get it that way.  Honestly.  See, her bath towel is still there.  I kept it there because sometimes she spits up after getting a bath.  That smile?  I don't remember.  Maybe I smiled at her and got her to make a sweet face to make the picture better.  I don't know.  But isn't the picture better (super cute) with a sweet face?  Sure thing.

Mary, I get what you are saying, but where are you going with this?  You're all over the place.

I'm just trying to get out of the "perfect internet mom" syndrome.  Making a statement.  Telling myself to keep my pictures, posts, etc real for others.  What life is REALLY like rather than sugar coating things.  Because really, would we rather read about hard life and how God brought us through it or just make everything seem simple and happy?

No one would believe me if I said, "No problem, because life is easy.  Of course your kids can all have perfect smiles and clean clothes on in a picture."

Why am I bringing this subject up?  Am I trying to point fingers without naming names?  Heck no!  This post is not judgement whatsoever.  That's what I'm getting at.  Let's be real moms (and dads).  We're not perfect.  Facebook likes to try to come across that way.  Blog posts make us look so sweet and perfect.  But in reality.

Life is a mess.

Just like our current bedroom (since we're in the middle of adjusting to suitcase living).
Or my mind.  Seriously its a big mass ball of well chords of who knows what!

...dude I just thought of another blog post.

This post is so weird, excuse me!  This is what I'm doing....keeping myself busy while I wait for my baby girl to wake up from a nap, dinner in the oven, and just life.  My next post should be about how I should not allow Ellie's mood to tell me how I am as a parent.  Boom.  Maybe I don't need a post about it after all.  I think that explains itself.  Or does it.

What do you think???

Thursday, March 14, 2013

Blessing for Hubs

"Wives are given a gift, they get to bless their husbands."
                                                                                           -Jonathan's wife

But Mary, you don't know what my husband has done, said, or won't stop....!

Doesn't the Bible say for husbands to love their wives (Ephesians 5:25)?  My husband is not good at loving me.

It's so easy to blame others.  I know it is.  But if we spend all our time blaming "our man" and not looking inward we are not doing ourselves any favors.

Sure, get upset when your hubby comes home late from work.  AGAIN.

Be annoyed when he leaves his dirty clothes on the floor.  AGAIN.

Cry when he forgets to say good-bye when he leaves in the morning.  AGAIN.

Get angry when he responds with your home-cooked meal as being not as good as his mom can do.  AGAIN.

Feel lonely when he doesn't help around the house or with the kids.  AGAIN.

What about that time he planned something without telling you?  AGAIN.

But with reacting to that in a negative way, will it change what hubby does?  Is he finally going to like every meal you make, be home on time, or help around the house?  Not mine.  And I'm guessing yours won't either.

The other day my mom said she heard a good thought from a speaker.  He said, "Assume the best from your spouse."  It changes your attitude and your response.

When hubby is late from work, "I assume my hubby got stuck behind an accident, I'm so glad he made it home safe!"  or "I'm sure he is super tired and not meaning to bug me when he leaves his dirty clothes on the floor."

When you ASSUME the best and your RESPONSE is positive, how much more likely are you going to RECEIVE a positive response?

Your goal isn't to change your husband.  You have the option to bless him.

So give your hubby a little love today and let him know how much you appreciate him!!

Wednesday, March 13, 2013

Ellie {5 months} & moving

Well, it's been a crazy month!  I've missed my daughter's fifth month birthday!  Her birthday was a day we were packing....and packing...and packing!  Who has time to write blog posts when you are busy moving??

If I remember right, this 4-5 month age stretch was tough.  Ellie started to have a harder time falling asleep in public places and she just wanted to be at home in her crib.  She does not like to be held when tired.  I know, it's weird.  So if you see me with my fussy baby at church, at the store, or out to eat know that I'm not trying to be mean to my daughter.   I just know she is tired and does not want picked up!  Holding her when she's tired just makes her get frustrated even more!

She likes to sleep on her tummy.  Which I'm okay with (just to get that out there).  And if she's in the car in her car seat she does pretty good if the car is moving and she takes a little snooze.  however since she's not on her tummy she likes the feeling of something on her cheek/up by her face.

I gave her the pink blanket, the blue one she did on her own.
She is not one to like short naps.  And if she gets one, watch out.  She'll be happy at first but within an hour it will hit her...."wait a second, I didn't get a long nap!"

As soon as she wakes up from a good sleep, do not pass her around.  Hand her to me (pretty please), and don't set her down unless you want to hear that cry that makes your heart drop into your stomach.  As soon as she's laying down she thinks she gets to eat, and if it doesn't happen rather quickly she doesn't want anything to do with whatever you think should be done.  And then there's "that cry."  The one that makes my hubby cringe so much that he is willing to get up in the night/early morning to get her so she can eat ASAP.

happy baby!
Nothing much has changed about Ellie this past month.  Except her "routine."  I went from focusing on how long she's been awake to more "watching the clock."  Because it has helped her sleep better at night.  On most days (except random mornings like today), she wakes up around 7 or 7:30am.  Then she takes a morning nap around 8:30 or 9.  She sleeps for roughly two hours, and then is awake for a couple hours.  I nurse her as often as she wants.  I put her down again about 1pm and she sleeps for about 3-4 hours.  Evenings are the hard part, because I can't give her a short evening nap.  However whenever she seems unhappy I just nurse her and it usually helps give her extra strength to go on for awhile longer. :) Her bedtime is around 6:30 or 7pm.  Sometimes she does end up falling asleep for a little catnap.  But usually cat naps don't mess her up too much. ;)

I don't watch the clock so much that she never goes down for a nap say at 12:30 instead of 1pm.  It's all kinda loose, but it's an "idea" I try to stay close to.  The time change this last Sunday has kinda made things a little tricky for her, but I'm hoping within a week or so she'll get adjusted.  :)

Since we're in the middle of moving I don't have pictures to show her growth.  But I can try to do those soon and put them in this post later.  As of now, here's some pictures of this past month with our sweet, Ellie.

Our dear Ellie is not into sitting up yet, she really wants to lay on her tummy and "fly" or be on her back and "run."

But when she gets tired while playing, she lets you know.

She loves those two middle fingers!!
This month brought on some fun!  She's starting to really "play" with her toys, feet, and our hands.

Her favorite book right now
put her on a blanket with her toys and she finds the TV ;)

As I'm finishing this post, I'm watching Ellie play on the floor with a toy at my parent's house.  It's a funky ball with a chain of those baby links (rings) on it.  She absolutely loves it!  I would say it's her new favorite toy for sure!  She loves chewing on the rings.  She's also enjoying sucking on her feet (even if they have socks on them).  Ellie is also responding in funny noises like spitting and "making bubbles" with the spit.  She thinks she's quite cool like that! :)  And she finally rolled over from back to tummy (she has been doing tummy to back for quite awhile now)!!  I congratulated her and she keeps giving me the biggest smiles.

Oh, and if you hear my daughter cough, it's all right.  The past couple weeks she figured out the "cool" way to cough and she thinks it's the best once one cough comes out you may just hear seven more!  I know, coughing is so cool! ;)

We moved to my parents house a week ago.  We still are not fully "moved in" yet. I still need to organize our clothes, the closet, and our pantry food.  As soon as we got here I quickly unpacked and repacked for a few days in Kansas City to surprise my sister for her 30th birthday!  The day we returned my husband had the stomach flu.  Monday, hubby started his new job in Ames and we've had a few hectic evenings.  I am finally getting some laundry done today.  I think tonight we'll work on unpacking more.  March 27th the movers will arrive at our Fairfax apartment and we'll be getting all our furniture and boxes sent here at my parent's house.  So I'll be using our dresser drawers and reorganize later anyways.  But until then, my parent's have enough dressers here for us to use.  They are letting us move things around, which is really nice and helpful to make it feel a little bit more us. :)  In the mean time, we are looking at houses in Ames, hopefully west Ames.  Also, my parents are enjoying having Ellie around, I mean really, who wouldn't? :)

Our Valentine! <3
That smile has always been her sweet, lovable smile.  But she is starting to already have ANOTHER smile!  It's a much BIGGER one.  Her whole face lights up and she gets dimples and it's so sweet!  :)  It's the smile she gets when: she is totally happy, when she's looking around the room and finally finds 'where that voice is coming from,' and when she goes from her typical smile to the BIG one! :)

<3 <3 you sweet Ellie!! <3
(Even when you wake Mommy and Daddy at 4am for no apparent reason.)