Set Free

Before you become a parent you have visions and dreams of what you want to be as a parent, what you will do with your kids to make special moments memorable, and lots of other things. Or maybe that's just me.  When I was three, I knew I wanted to be a stay at home mom (SAHM), so I guess I had plenty of years to vision my life. Now I'm here, been a mom for about six years (I include pregnancy because once you lose babies, you realize you're a mom as soon as you see a positive.). I visioned 2-4 kids (I know, I always debated the amount, I wanted to wait until I found out gender order and decide before I got pregnant with each one. As you can see I had lots of planning into this.) October 4, 2012 we welcomed our firstborn Ellie. I loved being a new mom. It took some time to recover from giving birth (search my blog for all those posts). And before she turned one we got pregnant, miscarried, bought a house, got pregnant, and miscarried again.  2013 was a blur...I reme

This past month has been a blur, with getting Ellie ready for Preschool and Jayden deciding his usual 12hour night sleeps are no longer a good thing. 🙄 { This week starting to do better.} He has changed a bit since 16 months (my last post), so I thought I would record everything before I forgot. What he's up to now: He can climb up on the couch himself, which has helped a ton in his happiness while awake. He can also climb back down which has also been beneficial for us all. Climbing on the edge though has not been helpful and so we rearranged the couch from the window to the wall so he doesn't hurt himself trying to touch the window.  He just loves being as close to us as possible.  One of his favorite toys is a ball. He's gotten really good at tossing it, so lots of games are playing catch. I also toss balls around the room and he fetches them. (I've told Ellie countless times we don't need a dog.). He's also starting to stand up on his own without

Two weeks ago Jayden turned 16 months old.  My kids take longer to be more mobile/independent, so when that finally occurs i like to remind myself of how it all happened. His personality is starting to show, and I also don't want to forget all these new things he is up to.  My parents have Ellie for a few days so this is my chance. He loves: baths, "talking", push toys, food, pacifier and lovey to sleep, sitting on the couch next to us, the toilet 🙄, kitchen toys, playing with Big Sis, electronic devices, remote controls, being outside, looking out the window (gets upset if you walk away), when Daddy comes home, pointing at everything, listening to music is soothing for him (compared to Big Sis where it energizes her)! He dislikes: if we're on the couch and he's not, most fruits, picky about texture of food, getting out of the bath, diaper changes, being set down, getting nails clipped, being placed in highchair, grass, gets upset if he doesn

I thought I was going to have a few minutes to myself in the bath while Jayden took his nap, Ellie had food and cartoons....so only naturally wouldn't you assume you have at least five minutes?  Nope.  So it led me to this post.  I've been reading "Raising your Spirited Child" and Ellie fits a lot of the personality traits it mentions.  There's also a quick questionnaire to find out if your child is an introvert or extrovert.  Out of 9 for each, Ellie was 8 Extrovert and 0 Introvert. For parents out of 13 each, I am 11 Introvert and 3 Extrovert. (Jon is 50/50.)  They say the worse combo for Spirited Child with the parent they spend the most time with is Extrovert, Spirited Child with an Introvert Parent. Ya, think? Ways to know if you have a Spirited First Born --You wake up to hearing them talk or sing and they are NOT in your bedroom. --They change their mind on what they want for breakfast multiple times, and then end up with the first option. --They wan

Ever since Easter I feel like I've been processing a LOT. Who am I as a Mom? A Christian? A wife? A friend? 2013-2014 was a huge shift in my marriage and adult life in general. (From Sept 2012-Sept 2013 I was pregnant 3 times.) I'm hoping and looking forward to life to slow down, meaning it's not so overwhelming "sucking my brain all the time" stage of life with little ones. This past year has been hard adjusting from one to two kids, especially with our first born's high needs and our newborn rarely let me set him down (and didn't like baby carriers). 🙄 He's finally just now using objects to stand at 14 months old. He took so many months wanting me he never got better at strengthening his mobility.  His new found freedom has showed him how exciting life can be when it's about sneaking off to get cords, eat food off the floor, or open cabinets! My favorite moments with him is hearing his giggle or laugh. He can be so happy and filled with

I've been meaning to share my thoughts "out there" for weeks now, but with days so long and nights so short -- now I can hardly get my mind to slow down enough to put my thoughts into a post. Holy cow. No wonder. That was one whole sentence. As I look at the past year my eyes usually fill up with tears. My heart breaks and I become numb. As a mother it's been humbling and eye-opening. So many times I've tried to find my voice and SPEAK to others. But what I find instead is mumbling nonsense. When it all comes down to it, my brain is fried. My heart is broken and my hands are hurting.  Ironically I've been having physical pain lately that can't be explained.  I can't help but wonder if it's my body telling my mind something. Slow down. However it's not like my life is going fast right now. If anything I feel like it's an ongoing repetition. (Some days there's sweet potatoes while others are filled with pasta.) The physical pain has

We celebrated Jayden's Birthday today!! 🎉 When he was born I pictured his first birthday theme being rainbow.  A rainbow baby is the baby you have after a miscarriage or infant loss. 🌈 The day started off with 9am church (which we were late to but whatever), then brunch at Village Inn, and back home so he could take a good nap. My parents had taken care of Ellie since Friday evening as a way to help me with the party. It was a lot easier to decorate and set up the house the night before! The party was from 2-4pm, and ordered pizza for supper afterwards. I like to keep it simple.  Jayden took a good nap before people got there (at least for him) and when everyone arrived we got right to the cake. (He's always hungry for food after his naps.) He wasn't too sure about his cake. So we cut him up a small piece and let him try that. When that didn't get him to eat much, I gave him something I knew would fill his tummy with happiness. Sweet po

The last four years of my life has got to be the hardest, emotionally drained years I've had in my life.  I could go on and on about what life has been like, but I'll spare you and let you read previous posts if you desire to look into it a bit. However, the next four years looks pretty draining as well.  Today we gain a new president and say good bye to one that had great strength and dignity.  The family was one I could stand up for and allow my children to watch their every move. Did I agree with everything? No. But my fears and concerns for my country were nothing compared to what the family endured each day. Today I can't stand behind the family who is being welcomed in the White House. And what is more heart breaking is knowing I have family and friends who stands behind him and even voted for him to be there.  Even if you don't know "for sure" what all he has done, you are capable of following his Twitter account. That alone is something I could nev

Dear Mom's, Can I just say what I accomplished today? Will you feel judged or hurt that it was just a normal day at home for your family, while I accomplished more than just fed and kept my kids alive? May I share without any side of things coming off wrong? Okay, here goes: -I found my daughter sneaked bread. -She wet her pull up twice today after fighting and yelling at me that she didn't want to "try" to go. -I cleaned up her poop...In her pull up. -I cleaned up the baby's poop. -I fed the baby every hour that he was awake. -I ate breakfast. -I ate some pizza for lunch. -I drank some Coke while I cleaned out/organized some kitchen cabinets. And helped my daughter spell words from her magnetic letters. -i kept baby from eating every single cord he could reach. -i did three loads of laundry, hung up wet items, folded & put away dry items -I completely emptied out the baby dresser and reorganized his clothes... Including 3 baskets of future items