It's hard for me to bring focus on myself--awkward really. I'm not use to being the center of attention and never know what to "do" with it. I'm not a confident individual, nor do I pull it off trying.
Whenever I sing "happy birthday" to someone I don't intentionally look at them. It's such an awkward lengthy song. Someone who can jazz it up a bit will help me laugh off the awkward attention and blow out candles!
When I search pictures where I feel beautiful, I started to notice it was because of what was going on in my life that "represents" that beauty shining though. I felt beauty in what my life was in that moment. It felt unconditional.
1. This childhood picture is me as a one-year old. It's youthfulness reminds me of childhood. Simple, tree climbing kind of days, filled with sunshine, bike riding, and going home when the street lights turned on.
3. Adventureland, summer 2013. Our little family of four (Alex still in my tummy). I look totally happy in this picture because I'm really good at hiding things. That was the weekend I had the idea we were miscarrying again. And yet, my family looks "put together." I remember crying that day that I lost another one. I felt so mad I wanted to ride all those rides to try to move on. Instead I had a moment of sitting in shallow water with Ellie asleep on my chest, talking with my husband and a dear family friend. It helped to have less time to myself to dwell on "laboring" again. Moving on that day was eating constantly (I was still dealing with some nausea), watching Ellie experience everything, and realizing who reaches out to hormonal pregnant women like me.
5. Jon and I kiss....sorry all. But seriously we ARE married. ;)
When I was three I knew I wanted to be a wife and a stay at home mom. Knowing Jon supported me in my family values helped seal the deal (among other things of course). Every day I have the JOY and the blessing to wake up doing my dream job.
weaning, mastitis, lots of ketchup, locking herself in bathroom, emptying wipe containers, IPTV, Elmo, running, books, blocks, uh-ohs, Dad-dy, Mom-ma, staw-berries, emptying drawer of DVD's, throwing stuff in the garbage can, dancing, twirling, laundry, meal planning on a budget, lots of laughs, made-up games, she hates baths, sensitive, goldfish, climbing, slides, ice cream, sippy cups, diarrhea, bananas, toast, coloring, walks, bubbles....
...and I wouldn't change a thing! (okay maybe the diarrhea) ;)
Life is beautiful!! <3