Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Perspectives: What's yours?

a wet towel hung up carelessly
a pile of dirty dishes filling up in the sink
a two-year old still working on manners and patience
an empty apartment where hubby is away unexpectedly
a pile of clean laundry still needs to be put away
a mile long to do list needed done before fall
a crowded feeling of a one-bedroom apartment

A husband willing to hang up his towel even though his ride is waiting
Dishes from a meal we were able to pay for
and made without a recipe and still turned out okay
A blessing from above, because I needed a job
He is able to go and just be with a group of guys for awhile
Thankful we were able to do laundry for free
Enjoying a summer filled with work and time with family and friends
Saving money now, so we can have the blessings in the future

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It's all how you look at it.
Now read again.  This time read it in a different order, see if you can catch which sections respond to each other.
Which perspective do you normally have in every day life?  

Monday, June 27, 2011

I shed tears for you....

Every night and every day I can only imagine 
how many hurtful things are said to you.....
how many hurtful things are done to you....
how many times you feel unloved.....
how many times you feel not cared about....
how many times you don't hear you are beautiful!

Every night I close my eyes and picture you
wondering if you are safe and okay...
worried you might be scared...
concerned about your comfort...
hopeful you are calling out to God...
and knowing He hears your prayers.

Every time I sit down to eat
I'm concerned you don't have anything good to eat
worried the others are calling you mean things
hopeful they are not hurting you
wondering if you are being hugged.

And every time I start to pray
I think of you
praying you are safe
praying you feel loved
praying you know I am thinking of you
praying you know I can't wait to see you again
praying you know you are loved
praying you know you have a Heavenly Father
praying I get to see you some day
praying some day it will be heaven.

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

TK Conversations

Ever since Jon and I have started a relationship people inform us about just waiting for our first "fight."  When we told them we never had one, they said wait until you are married and you'll fight over something so small.

We still don't understand what they mean.

Don't quote me wrong however.  We understand disagreements and making the other person upset and frustrated.  We feel like we have never had a fight before, because our meaning of fight isn't disagreeing on something.  Usual fights include raised voices, hurt feelings, and the need for reconciliation.  

Jon and I have had situations where someday (hopefully not) could turn into a fight if we're not cautious.  I call them TK conversations.  What are those?  Well, the "T" stands for Tometich (for me) and "K" for Kaisand (for Jon).  Meaning, whenever we have a disagreement or conversation that leads to frustration it's usually because we respond in the way we have always responded in the past.  We grew up in our families where we're used to the way things went and how things "should work."  I'm not going to go into details about each of our little "things" that we do, for the sake of gossip or other things like that.  However I will mention that we've discussed how we are going to respond when those issues arise.

For example, I KNOW when something has set Jon off a little bit.  I can tell.  I respond with, "Sorry Jon, this may be a TK conversation.  Let's talk about this."  It allows us both to know how vulnerable or sensitive the other person is about that certain topic, etc.  Vise versa when it's something that gets me a little upset I know how to confront Jon and it doesn't turn into a big argument. 

Like last night I asked him if I could bring something up that might be a little sensitive for him and I wouldn't want to disrespect his desires and needs.  He told me how to talk to him about it...stay calm, be super duper nice, and use as many positive words as possible.  That gave me the opportunity to not hold things inside and let my bitterness towards something that was hurtful to me to get in the way of our relationship.  The conversation led to a husband who was willing to do practically anything to help me out.  I was rewarded with no argument, a happy husband, and a man after my own heart wanting to please me! :)

Ephesians 5:1-2, 21-33

Be imitators of God, as beloved children, and live in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.
Be subject to one another out of reverence for Christ.
Wives, be subject to your husbands as you are to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife just as Christ is the head of the church, the body of which he is the Savior. Just as the church is subject to Christ, so also wives ought to be, in everything, to their husbands.
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, in order to make her holy by cleansing her with the washing of water by the word, so as to present the church to himself in splendor, without a spot or wrinkle or anything of the kind-- yes, so that she may be holy and without blemish. In the same way, husbands should love their wives as they do their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hates his own body, but he nourishes and tenderly cares for it, just as Christ does for the church, because we are members of his body. "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two will become one flesh." This is a great mystery, and I am applying it to Christ and the church. Each of you, however, should love his wife as himself, and a wife should respect her husband.