Friday, December 20, 2013

Freedom on Facebook

What does freedom (of speech, thoughts, actions, status', etc) on Facebook truly look like?

Who knows anymore?

I don't.

But for me.....this past year (more so months) I've noticed I need to take a step back.

What is Facebook?

For me Facebook is having the option of connecting with people and friends you don't always see.

I like seeing what you ate for dinner, or how your Christmas tree looks.  I like seeing the pictures you put up of your messy house (or clean), your cute kids, babies, and families.  I like hearing your newest thoughts and your inspirational ideas.

But for soon as Facebook starts to share opinions and ideas beyond the sweetness of what it should be....I'm done.

And I say that meaning to be nice, not mean.  I'm saying that because I don't want my issues to become elevated on Facebook.  That was not my intention and not Facebooks (as far as I know).  I don't want to come across as self-righteous.  Because I'm far from it.

If there is something I am passionate about, I will now make a blog post.  It will allow me time to think it through, take the time to ponder a post, and allow others to email me their responses and thoughts.  If I don't get an email I will not be responding.  I will politely answer back on email.

Facebook isn't perfect.  It's filled with imperfect people.

And me being one of them, this is where I take my stand.  This is where I stop.

The actions I am taking are for my own good.

Thursday, December 12, 2013

Part Four:: * The Proposal *

It's been over a YEAR since I've been posting about the love story of how Jon and I met and where we are today.  So sorry for the delay.  It's been quite the year and a half since I last posted.  For one, we had Ellie.  Then we moved.  We bought a house (still remodeling), miscarried twice, and moving into our house in February.

But tonight as my daughter is sleeping, hubby staying overnight at our new home, I think I can find some time to update you.  It also helps that it is a week until our anniversary of when Jon proposed!  This will take awhile as I search for reminders of the details of that weekend and look around for pictures to include. :)

If you are wondering about the first three parts of our love story: check here here and here first.

Well, here's our story.  Not perfect.  But this is how it went.  As I look back I see my flaws, but I know in the end Jon still asked me to marry him....and I'm forever thankful!  Happy (almost) four years since engagement honey!  Love you now more than that day:

One day I was working retail (The Learning Post to be exact) and Jon and my brother came in and found me.

"Hey, guess what we just picked up!"  Jon said with some excitement in his voice!

That little stinker!  He knew I wouldn't be able to handle the rest of the hours I had to work knowing that!!  I don't know what day this was, but it was probably the week that we got engaged.

Saturday I knew we were going out and he was proposing to me.  No surprise there.  I encouraged him we should get engaged before Christmas, because the plan was to get married the following summer.  Plus it would be nice to spend the holidays together...engaged. :)  So the last weekend possible before Christmas, we got engaged. ;)

I was all dressed up and we went out.  I don't even remember what I wore but I tried to match (or closely match) what I wore the day he saw me in that Sunday School class.  He told me I could pick where we ate, but it was going to be in Ankeny.  Okay...I thought he probably was taking me somewhere from our dates we spent in Ankeny.  But somehow he gave me a hint (since he kept talking about his concern about the weather), that it had to do with something outside.  I picked a restaurant called Chips.  It's not an overly expensive place, nor the atmosphere over the just our style. ;)  It just so happened to be the RIGHT location for where we were wanting to be for the "main event."

During dinner Jon was very closed off and his mind was elsewhere.  I was pretty devastated about that and I remember forcing myself to learn on being selfless through the whole meal.  I was going to need to learn how to love this man through the hard stuff....and one dinner isn't going to be HARD compared to the life ahead.  He even left the table to make "quick" phone calls.  We missed out on a lot of just communication during the meal and I was bummed he wasn't more "with me" during that time. (But little did I was a BIG thing he had to focus on!)

See, his "big plan" for proposing was falling through due to the weather.  He was trying to make plans to see if he could make it happen the following day.  After dinner he pulled the car up and told me we weren't going to be able to do what he had planned, that we probably should just go home, and go for try number two tomorrow.

I was so upset.

Everyone at home knew when we left the house we were going to return engaged!  My closest friends knew I would attend church the next morning WITH my fiance and surely would want to see the ring!  I was bummed to think of all the confusing looks we would receive and I told Jon how I felt.

Isn't there another way?

Sweet hubby of mine was so desperately wanted me to have a proposal I would never forget.  He wanted me to have a proposal I could be proud of and tell people the exciting story!  He wanted it to be more than just, "Hey would you marry me?"  He knows women (especially this one!) enough to know the proposal is such a special thing.  and he wanted to make that moment special.  Something we would be happy to tell our kids about some day.

And it was.

Driving towards home he was not content with the outcome of the night.  He parked in a driveway and stepped out of the car and started to make numerous phone calls.  At this point I'm like...really?  What could he be doing?  Who is he calling?

It's funny if you really think about it.  Here we are in some strangers driveway and Jon is outside walking aimlessly talking to different people on his cell....and I'm sitting alone in the car...waiting.  This was the night we got engaged.

He got back in the car not 100% thrilled but he was determined!  And when Jon is determined about something he is ALL IN!  He drove (and those who know the route we went from the area by Merle Hay Road towards 100th Street by the church--JEFC--where we first met).  Right away as he started driving I knew what he was doing....if the first choice didn't work....he wants to propose where OUR STORY began! :)  On the way I was still a little hurt.  Jon is talking about how he thinks we should just go home but at the same time arguing with himself about how he wanted to do something else but it wasn't going to work out!  His mind was working like crazy in all sorts of places!

Honestly, I had tears running down my cheeks.  This is NOT what either of us were picturing our special night to be like.  But such is life.  This is life.

He pulled up to the JEFC parking lot.  He looked at me and I remember looking out my window telling myself to look at him.  The entire night was him spending time on the phone and not with me.  I was so lost.  (Remember I'm the planner of the two, it was crushing me.)

But then he started speaking, sharing his heart.  He apologized for the crazy night.  It was not what he originally planned.  He wanted a nice dinner where we could just chat like we were on a normal date but with extra excitement.  He then wanted to do something else but it didn't work out, so he started to call people to try to get into the church and take me to the room where he first saw me.  He said he wanted to propose to me in that room...the room where our story began.  But he couldn't get anyone to be able to get us in the church.  So he decided we would just park and be as close to that room as possible.  It was cold and we stayed in the car.  He then talked about our relationship from the very beginning.  Our story fits us.  We focused on our friendship first.  He shared more but I just can't remember.  All I remember were they were perfect.  He had tears in his eyes.  I had never seen him tear up before.  EVER.  He got the ring out and held it and sincerely asked me to marry him.

And I SAID YES!!! :)

Afterwards, the whole whirlwind of emotions I told him I didn't feel like going home!  It was just a CRAZY night!  He agreed and we went to VillageInn for dessert.  I looked at that ring for pretty much the entire time.  We were like little junior high kids.  very giggly. :)

We got home and some of my siblings were there and they congratulated us!  Then Jon said he wanted to take me on a walk.  Wait, what?  It's freezing!  We grabbed extra warm things (including a blanket) and walked.  I knew where we were going. :)  Remember our first date?  We walked to a park near my parents house....we were going to that bench swing that we spent a long time talking while swinging. :)

On our way there we saw a car drive by and we stopped them.  It was my parents!! :)  I introduced them to my fiance. ;)  They were so excited for us!  We spent some time on that swing just talking and going through the emotions of the night and what was to come!

The next morning we attended church and people were so excited for us!  It was just so much fun!  The ring was so sparkly!  While there Jon whispered to our friends what we were doing later that day (the big surprise that didn't work out the night before).  By the time we were getting ready to leave I figured it out. ;)  Jon is not good at keeping secrets when he's REALLY excited about them!!

We drove to Ankeny AGAIN and got on a helicopter! :)

They even took us over the holiday lights.  It was so cool to see all the Christmas lights from above.  It was so cool!  Something I'll always remember!  Wish we had pictures, but neither of us had a camera at the time that worked.

Here's some pictures from our first Christmas together as a "couple." :)

trying to get a good one for Christmas card
my brother, me, and Jon

my sister does evil santa gifts and Jon got a nice one this year
"welcome to the family"

Jon the "new guy" :)

Monday, December 2, 2013

Ellie {14 months}

I used to do a monthly update on Ellie, but after they turn one it seems kinda silly.  But she has been doing more "things" now.  here's a post about her a couple days early cus sweet goodness I had time for once!

People constantly tell me what a happy girl she is, bright eyes, big smile, and her wonderful personality.  I don't know what I would do without her these past 14 months.  Her smiles are contagious.


Her favorites new "tricks" are: 

  • peek a boo (seriously so precious when she covers her eyes and the look on her face while doing peek)
  • "SO BIG" is a constant thing now.  One time I was talking to someone saying, "So..." and she lifted her arms up high! :)
  • A very stern "No."  (and nods her head) She knows "no" now and uses it to get what she wants.  Jon and I talk constantly about how to try to figure this out so it doesn't become an issue as she grows.  Otherwise the "tiring twos" as I call it, will be VERY tiring!  She says no when she doesn't want another bite of food, when she doesn't want something done to her, etc.

Our picky eater has changed a bit.  But we still had to give her baby food jars on Thanksgiving.  Who doesn't like turkey and mashed potatoes?  Apparently my daughter, well at least for today.  (However when she saw my plate of dessert she had no hesitation to eat some!) She can like one thing one day and not like it the next.  It seems as if we have a toddler already.  She loves spaghetti, so we at least can branch off of baby food from time to time.  She is so picky on the texture of food.  But knowing her favorite options I can help mix things together to help her become more open minded to the idea of trying new food. :) 

Her favorite foods include: sweet potatoes, apples (prefers them to be smooth), organic applesauce, toast/bread, ground beef, spaghetti, pears, french fries (she knows you have them even if you try to hide it), and baby food.  Her least favorites that I'm working on: chicken, bananas (what a bummer), and random veggies like carrots.  Like I've made homemade baby food of separated chicken and apples and mash them together to help her get used to the chicken texture. :)

Funny story about food: When eating at Pizza Ranch she now knows there is dessert pizza.  We can hardly get her to eat anything cus all she wants is that sweet goodness!  Do you blame her though?? :)  The first time we ate there with her she took my mom's piece and stuck it in her mouth!  We got a video & pic of it on my dad's phone.  So funny!

She still loves music.  Even if you just sing to her or make a tune for her she'll boogie down! :)  I love the smile on her face while she does it.  Melts Momma's heart. :)  (Figure you got to enjoy something that your daughter has that is like you while she looks like her Daddy!) :)

I've been doing better at video taping her from time to time so I'll have to put some videos on here sometime soon.  As soon as I have Jon's help of course. :)  She is really starting to "talk" nonstop and it's absolutely adorable.  She even "talks" to us while in the car.  Her vocab is: no-no-no, Mamama, Mommy, Daddy, Go get (I tell her to "go get Daddy" constantly and she caught on to the phrase), num-auh-num (food/nursing), Abby (my parent's dog), hi, baby, ball, and a few other words I've heard her say but has not repeated or not sure if she realized she said them.

try to tell me that's not contagious! :) 

Some other random things I'll want to recall:
-Climbing up the stairs, but not comfortable yet with not being there to catch if she falls

-She's not walking yet, but I'm not not consistent with teaching her too.  I know what happens once they learn that ;)  Some day I know I'll all of a sudden look over and see her walking.  I know she'll get comfortable with it all of a sudden and let go, but for now she still goes down to her knees in fear.

-two naps a day now (I don't know when third nap dropped off but it has, except when traveling or whatever and her normal nap is shortened.)  Bedtime is usually around 7:30/8:30 depending on how long afternoon nap was.  I don't see her ever getting rid of naps anytime soon. :) this girl likes sleeping if it's not time to eat :)

-She is wearing 6-12 month pants (Gap) and 12 months or sometimes 18 month shirts.  Onesies are still 6-12 months or 12 months.  I don't even bother with socks or shoes.

-I don't know how much she weighs right now but the last time I weighed her it was around 17 1/2 lbs.  My long, lean peanut is so sweet! :)

-Jon and I got her a new car seat and it will be coming in the mail soon.  I can't believe I won't be carrying her around in that infant car seat anymore.  The only times I'll miss it...when she falls asleep in the car.  Then I might cry.  I like the option of keeping her in her seat and put on stroller for errands.

-She's not attached to anything.  Except that one time we couldn't leave the house without the plastic carrot.  I could hardly buckle her!

-She LOVES baths!  I put her in there by herself now.  Which is weird.  She looks SO old!  And she loves it!  This last Sunday night she even leaned her head back for me to wash her hair!  The water heater was broken and the poor girl was freezing in the room temperature water.  but other than that, she loves baths. :)

-Still desires to nurse.  The time is shorter (except before bed and morning), but I don't see her stopping anytime soon.  I get asked when I think I will stop and I usually respond with "It's up to her."  I'm not going to force it on her to stop for my convenience.  Even though making sure I have pumped milk available can get annoying and difficult.  But I know it's what she wants and has the deepest desire for, and if this is something I can give to her (free might I add), might as well!  She is drinking some whole milk but not as consistent as my milk.  If we hadn't miscarred I'm sure things would've been different with her getting used to having to share Mommy's milk, so back when I thought through the length of time I was going to nurse her I decided to just see what happened.  Maybe she would've wanted nursed because it's something she could share with just me and her or something to give her comfort as she adjusted to not being the only baby?  But instead we don't have that situation right now.  So I'm just taking a day at a time.  And today I know she wanted my milk.  And I know tomorrow morning she still will.  I wouldn't change that for anything.  It's so special.  Soon I'll wish she WOULD nurse just to have that extra snuggle time and wonder where my baby went!  :)

the end of this sweet cuteness.

*more pics will have to be added later.....
**added more things later on that I forgot to mention the first time around...

**Typical Day at Home with Ellie**
-wakes up around 6:30/7:30 nurses, diaper change (small talk with Daddy if he's here) and returns to crib
-wakes up around 9:30/10 and plays, bye-bye to Daddy (if he slept over/not in Ames) eat breakfast with Mommy, playtime, nurse
-nap around 1.5hrs/2hrs after woke up (nap lasts about 1.5 to 2 hours)
-Around 12:30 wakes up and eat lunch, playtime, nurse before nap
-Nap around 2:30 or so (lasts usually around 3 hours, but sometimes is only 2)
-Around 5pm wakes up, eat dinner, family time, nurse before bed or more if needed
-Bedtime depending on length of awake time from afternoon nap.  Usually around 8pm or so.