As I sat there in the doctor's office, I was stunned. I could barely put thoughts together but I was told I needed a D&C in the office. read more about my thoughts here and here. the doc told me it would be no longer than 30-60 seconds and I could count down if I would like. Right away I thought, "Okay but if I count down too fast I'll be bummed. A song would be better." So while I waited in the waiting room some more, I thought of the perfect song. This song I sang while on the worship team a couple years back and it has helped me through this second miscarriage. It was perfect for this specific part of the miscarriage as well.
Falling on my knees in worship
Giving all I am to seek your face
Lord all I am is yours
My whole life
I place in your hands
God of Mercy
Humbled I bow down
In your presence at your throne
I called you answered
And you came to my rescue and I
I wanna be where you are
In my life be lifted high
In our world be lifted high
In our love be lifted high
I practically tear up every time I hear that song. "My whole life I place in Your hands, God of mercy, humbled I bow down...." just fit too well with the circumstances. During the D&C the doc told me she was about done and asked what number I was at and I told her I had been singing. I wasn't even passed the first verse! It was very comforting. (Little did I know I would sing the song a few more times for more D&C procedure that I won't explain here.) My mom, the doctor, nurses, and even myself was surprised with how well I did. I didn't complain at all about the pain. I was so surprised because I hate anything to do with medical stuff. I know the only reason I was able to sit there and be as relaxed as I was....the only way had to be Jesus. Seriously. Forty-five minutes of a procedure AWAKE. Not cool, not fun. But Jesus came to my rescue for sure.
I drove to my follow up appointment after my D&C and I was concerned there would be something of concern. I was calm about it, but hoping it would be my last ultrasound for a LONG time...I haven't had a fun ultrasound since well, a year ago (almost to the day). Which isn't a big deal (most people are not prego 3x in one year). But I've had my share of ultrasounds....I'm done. For now. :)
After the appointment of hearing good news. I got in the car and this was on. I couldn't have planned better timing on it! If you are like me, you can listen to it here. :)
Listening to it again (helping entertain Ellie too), but it brings tears to my eyes even now. So thankful my God is healer and on MY SIDE. He saves and delivers me. So thankful for a loving, merciful God.
I'm holding on to Your promises.....You are faithful!
So, so thankful. :)