Freedom in Parenting

Dear Momma's, it's been a hectic week.  I know it has... especially in our house. Not napping well, whining, and frozen meals cus I don't have time to cook today.  I've felt uncomfortable with my days and discouraged about my baby who thinks sleep is ridiculous.  Trying to decide what can make me not feel this way as a Mom?  I pictured staying at home with my kids differently. I knew it was going to be tiring, hard work, and short showers (wait, have i taken one?).
But today I took a deep breath. Put clean clothes on, did something with my hair (Momma, where we going?), and put some make up on to trick people into thinking I'm not a zombie for Halloween.  Then I got Ellie ready and the baby. Loaded us all up and headed out (1.5hrs after that original thought of getting OUT).

It was the time I usually put the baby down for a nap.  It was usually the time I do some laundry or give Ellie a decent lunch.  By the time we arrived at the first destination, it was Ellie's nap time. Before going into Aldi's I gave her the Mom pep talk. I expect xyz kid, help me help you! We're doing something fun, so let's make the best of it. After a decent shopping experience, we went to Walmart. We sat down with McDonald's (I know we're super healthy over here.) I needed some things at Walmart, so that's what we did. While sitting there I'm watching Ellie enjoy her meal and tell me how thankful she is for it. Then I see Jayden about to fall asleep.

I can do this. I felt this freeing feeling.
I shut down my barriers of MUSTS as a mom with young kids and nap schedules and did something rare for us. For me. I could breathe. It wasn't the best cheeseburger, but my kids were not making me go crazy. After bathroom stop we got things off my list and Ellie grabbed everything pink.

As I loaded up the car to go home I thought let's do a park after kids get some rest.  I finally felt freedom in my decisions.  I finally felt like the burdens I was carrying were lifted. I didn't feel stuck.

And my 4yo....willingly went to lay down for nap/rest time. And i got dinner prepped. I got groceries put away, and a load of laundry going. I did things i wanted to get done today, AND I got to do other things too. I found JOY and delight in parenting again. Maybe because it's Friday and it's beautiful outside. Or just maybe, maybe I didn't feel like I had to control my kids all day. I was able to just let us Be.






Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

I was raised by a strict purity culture, and my father is a narcissistic sex addict

Image
  I would like to imagine life without hidden secrets or agendas.  If my desires could be brought to life my childhood would have been completely different.   ~~~~~ Until recently, I had never heard of the term "purity culture."  When I learned more about it, everything began to come clear to me.  The harsh feelings of betrayal stood out in my life countless times upon investing in space to process all the areas purity culture has entered into my way of thinking.  Purity culture is gender expectations based on a strict stereotype.  Men are expected to be strong, "masculine" leaders of the household, church, and society.  Women are expected to support them -- to be pretty, "feminine," sweet, supportive wives and mothers.  Before I go on into more detail, I can't help but notice things from that stereotype that has definite red flags.  Never once did it mention men are to be fathers, but it surely intended on making clear to state about women becoming su
Read more

Every Voice Matters

Image
  I was raised in a household where my voice wasn't heard.  My opinions didn't matter, and my questions were not respected.  The space around me was filled with chaos and noise that didn't make sense to me.  I was surrounded by dictatorship in my own home.  I had dominate people directing me and pushing me to do what they wanted me to do.  Meanwhile a few of us sitting back in agony and confusion of why this was able to occur.  This led to my silence, social anxiety, and self doubt.  The voice inside my head never stops.  It takes on overwhelming pressure to make decisions.  It's confusing when I make a boundary.  Growing up the boundaries were constantly broken, and yet I had no clue what was happening.  Especially because of the fact I didn't know boundaries existed.  The voice inside my head wanted to scream and run and yet I had nothing to say that would make them listen. The lack of confidence in every thing I do is portrayed by my ability to fill my living spa
Read more

Things that change with a baby....

Image
Two months of changes: Use alarm clock to check length of feedings and not to wake you up. Prepare to have outings take "that much" longer. Lean over to cuddle with hubby and realize he has already left for work. (added later) Husbands call their wives Mommy, and Husbands are called Daddy Touch cold zipper and think you have spit up on you. More poop, more smiles. Perspectives change: dirty diapers a good thing because it means a healthy baby Realizing the amount of junk you eat, because it goes to the baby also Clothes are hardly ever clean and once you get the chance to do a load--she wets or blowouts on more! You get delighted to hear a burp, especially when it finally comes out after one of those middle of the night feedings. Your free-time becomes getting another snack or meal, changing a load of laundry, taking a shower, or updating your grocery list and meal plan. Watching TV/Netflix, checking up on Facebook, or watching a movie takes the p
Read more