WANTED: Deep Connections

How do you find deep relationships with people you are just starting to meet?

The reason I bring this subject up is because while living in Ames, Jon and I are working on becoming plugged in.  It has become pretty difficult really.  It's hard to meet new people in a group setting.  We try to be real with them, but sometimes it takes a LOT of work just to be yourself.  Why does that have to be?
Why do some people make it so uncomfortable to be yourself?  Or why can't everyone get loose and enjoy each other's company?  What are some things you can do to "relax the heated room" and not feel the odd one out?

Jon and I have come up with some ideas.  Let me know if you can think of any other ideas, or have suggestions of your own.
1. Get together not for a certain reason all the time.  Get together to just socialize, play games, etc.  It helps keep things less stiff.
2. Encourage people to open up.  Open up yourself.  Be vulnerable.
3. If it's a larger group of people split off to smaller groups.
4. For awhile, try to sit next to the same person.  Each week motivate yourself to get to know him/her.
5. Find the person/few people you most relate with.
6. In the bigger group setting, try to be close to your spouse (if it is necessary).  Your spouse will always back you up. :)
7. Pray before going.  Pray as a couple.
8. Pray all week about it during your quiet time with God.
9. Think of a few things to talk about before going.
10. Know that no matter what, God loves you and your spouse does too! :)

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

I was raised by a strict purity culture, and my father is a narcissistic sex addict

Image
  I would like to imagine life without hidden secrets or agendas.  If my desires could be brought to life my childhood would have been completely different.   ~~~~~ Until recently, I had never heard of the term "purity culture."  When I learned more about it, everything began to come clear to me.  The harsh feelings of betrayal stood out in my life countless times upon investing in space to process all the areas purity culture has entered into my way of thinking.  Purity culture is gender expectations based on a strict stereotype.  Men are expected to be strong, "masculine" leaders of the household, church, and society.  Women are expected to support them -- to be pretty, "feminine," sweet, supportive wives and mothers.  Before I go on into more detail, I can't help but notice things from that stereotype that has definite red flags.  Never once did it mention men are to be fathers, but it surely intended on making clear to state about women becoming su
Read more

Every Voice Matters

Image
  I was raised in a household where my voice wasn't heard.  My opinions didn't matter, and my questions were not respected.  The space around me was filled with chaos and noise that didn't make sense to me.  I was surrounded by dictatorship in my own home.  I had dominate people directing me and pushing me to do what they wanted me to do.  Meanwhile a few of us sitting back in agony and confusion of why this was able to occur.  This led to my silence, social anxiety, and self doubt.  The voice inside my head never stops.  It takes on overwhelming pressure to make decisions.  It's confusing when I make a boundary.  Growing up the boundaries were constantly broken, and yet I had no clue what was happening.  Especially because of the fact I didn't know boundaries existed.  The voice inside my head wanted to scream and run and yet I had nothing to say that would make them listen. The lack of confidence in every thing I do is portrayed by my ability to fill my living spa
Read more

Things that change with a baby....

Image
Two months of changes: Use alarm clock to check length of feedings and not to wake you up. Prepare to have outings take "that much" longer. Lean over to cuddle with hubby and realize he has already left for work. (added later) Husbands call their wives Mommy, and Husbands are called Daddy Touch cold zipper and think you have spit up on you. More poop, more smiles. Perspectives change: dirty diapers a good thing because it means a healthy baby Realizing the amount of junk you eat, because it goes to the baby also Clothes are hardly ever clean and once you get the chance to do a load--she wets or blowouts on more! You get delighted to hear a burp, especially when it finally comes out after one of those middle of the night feedings. Your free-time becomes getting another snack or meal, changing a load of laundry, taking a shower, or updating your grocery list and meal plan. Watching TV/Netflix, checking up on Facebook, or watching a movie takes the p
Read more