Personality Comments
As quarantine looks like it's not ending anytime soon, I'm starting to have more time to ponder deep thoughts. I've lost numerous Facebook "friends" due to random posts and comments we disagree on. Sometimes it's my posts and sometimes it is theirs. I've taken time to think it over and answer all the ongoing questions and complications in my head. Tonight I was reading Raising Your Spirited Child, the section on personalities, and how it can mold your ability to handle situations.
Extroverts seek action to feel good. They draw energy from people. They recharge their batteries by communication nonstop with other people. They are normally quick to make comments and dialogue. They love to share. Meanwhile, introverts are not antisocial. They interact with the world inside by reflecting thoughts and ideas before they share them with others on the outside. Introverts purr when they have time alone, quiet, and space to themselves to think. An opportunity to ponder a problem before discussing it allows them to clarify their thoughts. [Definitions and descriptions of the personalities taken from the book, page 72-73.]
When I read that description tonight it helped clarify my thoughts on my parenting strategies with my kids, just like it had when I read the book the first time. My Spirited is definitely an extrovert, and I'm an introvert. In the book the author talks about how that is the HARDEST combo for parents with Spirited kids. Did that scare me? No. I already knew that was one of the hardest parts of parenting with her. It's like a balancing act. She worships my attention and desires high energy schedules and I'm sinking in the sand wishing for alone time. Since then I think I've figured out some things to help balance us a bit. (It also probably helps Jayden is no longer a clingy baby which means I am not getting touched out.)
BUT
Let me get to the thought that crossed my mind in regards to social media and responses.
People are probably caught off guard by how vocal and forward my posts and comments sound. Most people who know me see me as a reserved busy Mom who stays home and cooks and cleans all day. Yes, I do find myself cooking and cleaning more often than not. I also have strong opinions and thoughts on society and human rights. If I think back to the people who have probably unfriended or no longer care to follow me, they are mostly people who followed me because they thought I was a fun/nice person or enjoyed my snippets of life as a mom.
As an extrovert person shares their heart out and my introvert self comes in being more vocal (than my friend is use to), because I'm not in a room full of people having a discussion. I have plenty of space and time to ponder my responses and my heart. I'm in my own home. Where I feel safe and don't need validation from the room.
What about thinking about it from a different perspective?
Why didn't they know this about me? If you are an extroverted person and don't know my thoughts on these things (and in some cases unfriend instead of having a conversation with me), it might be a good wake up call for you. On Facebook or social media I have had time to be "alone". I have had time to ponder my thoughts on the matter and began to share my thoughts. If you haven't heard my thoughts, then an introvert like myself didn't feel safe enough to do so. That is something I am processing tonight in my own head. I think that is why I felt a weight lifted from not feeling like I had to make everyone feel safe with what I had to share or say. I'm not going to change who I am to make you feel safer around me.
When I have left friendships or build boundaries with people I tell them. I let them know "this is why" and "this is how I am feeling" or "this is how you make me feel." I am currently working on allowing that to no longer take weight in my own mind and heart. Whether it be a family member who oversteps, a Facebook friend who makes a comment I wouldn't feel comfortable a black person hearing, or someone who just needs to respect boundaries.
My comment on your post lets you know where I stand.
My posts lets people know where I stand and how I feel about something.
This is who I am, and I'm finding people who don't like it. Which means they don't like what I stand for. And you know what? That's okay. It's sad it took this long to figure it out.
Extroverts seek action to feel good. They draw energy from people. They recharge their batteries by communication nonstop with other people. They are normally quick to make comments and dialogue. They love to share. Meanwhile, introverts are not antisocial. They interact with the world inside by reflecting thoughts and ideas before they share them with others on the outside. Introverts purr when they have time alone, quiet, and space to themselves to think. An opportunity to ponder a problem before discussing it allows them to clarify their thoughts. [Definitions and descriptions of the personalities taken from the book, page 72-73.]
When I read that description tonight it helped clarify my thoughts on my parenting strategies with my kids, just like it had when I read the book the first time. My Spirited is definitely an extrovert, and I'm an introvert. In the book the author talks about how that is the HARDEST combo for parents with Spirited kids. Did that scare me? No. I already knew that was one of the hardest parts of parenting with her. It's like a balancing act. She worships my attention and desires high energy schedules and I'm sinking in the sand wishing for alone time. Since then I think I've figured out some things to help balance us a bit. (It also probably helps Jayden is no longer a clingy baby which means I am not getting touched out.)
BUT
Let me get to the thought that crossed my mind in regards to social media and responses.
People are probably caught off guard by how vocal and forward my posts and comments sound. Most people who know me see me as a reserved busy Mom who stays home and cooks and cleans all day. Yes, I do find myself cooking and cleaning more often than not. I also have strong opinions and thoughts on society and human rights. If I think back to the people who have probably unfriended or no longer care to follow me, they are mostly people who followed me because they thought I was a fun/nice person or enjoyed my snippets of life as a mom.
As an extrovert person shares their heart out and my introvert self comes in being more vocal (than my friend is use to), because I'm not in a room full of people having a discussion. I have plenty of space and time to ponder my responses and my heart. I'm in my own home. Where I feel safe and don't need validation from the room.
What about thinking about it from a different perspective?
Why didn't they know this about me? If you are an extroverted person and don't know my thoughts on these things (and in some cases unfriend instead of having a conversation with me), it might be a good wake up call for you. On Facebook or social media I have had time to be "alone". I have had time to ponder my thoughts on the matter and began to share my thoughts. If you haven't heard my thoughts, then an introvert like myself didn't feel safe enough to do so. That is something I am processing tonight in my own head. I think that is why I felt a weight lifted from not feeling like I had to make everyone feel safe with what I had to share or say. I'm not going to change who I am to make you feel safer around me.
When I have left friendships or build boundaries with people I tell them. I let them know "this is why" and "this is how I am feeling" or "this is how you make me feel." I am currently working on allowing that to no longer take weight in my own mind and heart. Whether it be a family member who oversteps, a Facebook friend who makes a comment I wouldn't feel comfortable a black person hearing, or someone who just needs to respect boundaries.
My comment on your post lets you know where I stand.
My posts lets people know where I stand and how I feel about something.
This is who I am, and I'm finding people who don't like it. Which means they don't like what I stand for. And you know what? That's okay. It's sad it took this long to figure it out.
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