Set Free

This is an old poem I wrote to Jon 10/6/09.  It's not a poem about him, just what was going through my mind during quiet times with the Lord. Title: don't know yet   Tears stuck to my face God's love filled with grace I'm lost in the pain One less  HOUR  to gain. Distance seems so far away leading me down in dismay The pain increases like emptiness. My gut pulled, my emotions cold.   My lonely heart grieves fearing your needs. The stuff I have to let go and allow the pain to stay though. How do I forgive? How do I let go? All the pain to the Lord, I give because my energy is at low, and I know My God wants to see me where I should be. On my knee.

[Note: I was not in writing mode when I wrote this.  However it was something I needed to share.] In a deep conversation my husband and I were having, I was pretty upset with him.  Now, I love my husband.  I would do anything for him and try my hardest to do things how he likes them to be done.  I want to help, support, respect, and show love in any way I can.  But this topic messed with my mind, and to this day I am still battling with God with how to retrain my mind.  Through my husband, God spoke to me words that I want to say are not true--but because my husband believes that it is true, it is a fact. I have a problem.  I am sinful. My husband made a comment that I can still hear in my ears every day and every night as I drift off to sleep. "You're not a very joyful person." WHAT?  Mary?  Not joyful?  Are you kidding me??? God, what does this mean?  I have energy for others, I love life, and think "glass half full" thoug...

Remember how in my last post I mentioned my husband and I started our own Book Club, reading a book together?  Well, my husband finished reading the book "A Child Called It" without me, because he was so excited to see what would happen.  Now, he wants to read the NEXT book in the series, "The Lost Boy."  However I told him I didn't have it, and he said we need to go get it right away!  He can't put this story down for a minute!  I told him he could get it for me for my birthday (in May). Now that I think about it more this morning, I'm thinking maybe I do have that book?  But where in the world could it be?  Maybe I've been looking at it online so much I think I've seen it before.  No matter what, we're going to get that book!  "The Lost Boy" is about how Dave struggles in many foster homes and the experience he had from ages 12-18 away from his abusive mother.  No wonder we are so excited to read it!!!

I guess you could say I'm in a book club.  Not any book club though.  I'm reading a book with my husband!  Whenever we get a chance we read it out loud to each other.  It's an amazing story and leads to tears, questioning, and concern!  The book is written by Dave Pelzer and based off his life story.  He wrote more books, so I'm looking forward to going through those as well. Jon and I are halfway finished with the first one, "A Child Called 'It'."  Maybe you have heard of it.  If not, I recommend it.  You won't be able to put it down!!! Here's a YouTube video about Dave:  Dave's story

I've spotted other blog posts in blog-land of people posting 100 things about themselves.  I thought I would give it a try and take up on the challenge.  To come up with 100 random things can be difficult, but I think I'm ready.  For the record, I wrote this February 8, 2011. 1. When my mom was pregnant with me, she had to go to the hospital and get an IV because she was so weak and sick.  Morning sickness lasted 24 hours. 2. My dad wanted to name me Mary Anne, but my mom wanted just Mary.  They compromised and my middle name is Anne. 3. When I was born, my mom said the room was full of people.  There was a possibility that I had spina bifida (like my brother), so they were prepared to take action. Spina bifida is a birth defect that involves the incomplete development of the spinal cord or its coverings. The term spina bifida comes from Latin and literally means "split" or "open" spine. http://kidshealth.org/parent/system/ill/spina_bifida.html 4. W...