Set Free

If you would of told me where Jon and I would be in our marriage at our three-year anniversary back when we got married I would have two words for you: amazed.  surprised. I love my man.  our marriage isn't perfect.  he's not married to someone perfect.  i'm not married to someone perfect.  but by God's grace it works.  we're still growing in our love for each other.  and i wouldn't want it any other way.  he's my best friend. our first year anniversary we went to Newton (Jon's hometown) and went to a Bed & Breakfast.  it was a beautiful weekend. anniversary cake:: great chats about the year & our marriage Jon took this as we were packing up to leave last year i was six months pregnant and we went to Hu-Hot in Cedar Rapids.  then we walked around gordman's and got some stools for our kitchen. so romantic i know. :) wearing one of the many hairpins i wore on our wedding day last night we went to bravo for...

I've always dealt with my weight.  I was never a good weight, until I got married.  I was always too thin.  I would eat constantly to fill the void of people telling me I was not even 100 pounds (even though I was).  Sunday mornings I could eat three donuts with no problem (even after eating a breakfast at home prior to church).  I'm constantly snacking.  I love anything salty, anything sweet.  Anything chocolate.  Give my a box of cookies, I'll finish them off for you. oh sorry Liz, best pic I had on file from when I was young When I got married I was a healthy weight.  I felt good about myself.  I was no longer told I was too skinny.  I was no longer joked about as the one that was a "size zero, and you disappeared!"  I was happy.  Eating like a normal person. wedding day June 12, 2010 December 2010 Then I got pregnant.  And you other Momma's out there know exactly what I'm talking about. ...

Yep, you heard me right.  My baby girl is 8 months already!  When did that happen?  I never got around to making 7 month post, because really month 7 and 8 kinda blended together with everything else that's been going on!  Plus the new stuff she is up to all happened within these two months.  So some of the pictures in this post will be from when she was 7 OR 8 months old.  But really, she's cute either way so why bother! ;) Remember when I was helping her go on a "schedule"?  Well that practically got thrown out as soon as we found out we were expecting her sibling.  I was sick, I was desperately needing help.  I let Jon and others do whatever.  Plus, I was just in survival mode.  Now that we miscarried and life is starting to get back to normal (yeah, Ellie has her Mom back!),  she is still not on a "schedule."  However she seriously has always been a good baby but when tired...please PLEASE just lay her down in ...

Here we were minding our own business.... Seriously, we were.  Let me prove it. I had just asked Jon to have a chat with him in the living room--just us.  We sat down and starting talking.  (Nothing serious, just marriage and plans for the upcoming weeks.)  Suddenly the door bell rang and my parent's dog started barking.  I was still dealing with my headache ( thanks to being anemic ) and asked Jon to quickly find out who was at the door. Who is at the door on a Sunday evening? Jon went outside and came back in.  Weird.  He said there was some guys outside with a semi truck full of furniture at a decent price and he was going to go check it out.  Ellie was sleeping so I went ahead and put on my shoes and a jacket and went outside with him.  (We've been on the look out for furniture and other random update items for our future home.) He wasn't kidding.  There was seriously a group of guys waiting around a truck.  One guy in...

My parent's laundry in the washing machine. Dinner in the crockpot. Folded laundry in the basket ready to take downstairs and be put away in our dressers. Taking care of Ellie with the energy I once had. Keeping up on the dishes.... because I'm still eating for more than just me. Being a stay at home mom and keeping up on the house, kitchen, laundry, and more. I'm so thankful to finally start feeling myself and be capable of doing such things. It's all perspectives Momma's. Two weeks ago I felt great and was doing these things. But I didn't know WHAT was coming. And now that I finally feel a little bit more like myself, I'm soaking it all in. I can shower standing up now. I'm able to get food without feeling nauseous or dizzy. I'm capable to do what I always planned on doing while living with my parents in prep for buying a house.  And that is: being a stay at home mom.  Meanwhile, preparing meals, doing dishes, cleaning, ...

As I reflect on my last post about Mother's Day , I am humbled as a mother. The Lord had already known our future.  He knew what was in store for us this week.  He knew what we were about to face head on. We were expecting baby number two.  In process of buying a house.  Preparing for our family to grow, we were excited to meet our new baby.  We couldn't wait to see the sibling bond.  We couldn't wait to find out what we were having....a boy this time or a girl? What we didn't know was God had other plans. He wanted to stretch us.  To bring us to our knees (or in my case sitting on the bathroom floor).  Sitting there, staring at the toilet I was once leaning over praying for a break.  Praying to not be sick. But now I'm not.  I'm not throwing up.  I'm sick with something else. I ache to never been given a chance to have a relationship with a child I never met. I ache for other mothers who have had to deal with this-- tim...

Today was my first official Mother's Day.  Last year I received a gift at church (they gave a pen to each mother), because the kids handing them out knew I was expecting.  It was sweet and touched my heart dearly.  I still have that pen.  In the diaper bag for a sweet reminder. :) However this year I woke up with a whole new reason to rejoice and be glad.  I didn't get breakfast in bed (YEP!), or get out of changing diapers, or any kind of special treatment.  Actually, my hubby joked that the carnation I received at church was given to me because he had called ahead of time to have them bring one for me.  Clever babe.  Nice work.  ;) Know my heart is not filled with envy for those who got breakfast in bed. Or got special treatment. Or didn't have to do "dirty" work. and maybe you got a special treat from your kids or a forever to do list completed by your hubby as a special thanks. I got a gift. It's the gift of Jesus.  M...