Set Free

*Warning:   You can't say I didn't warn you.  This gets graphic and I open up about the truth of something I never knew about until this past year.  I share details of what it was like to give birth to three babies: one with a heartbeat, two in heaven. * At five weeks pregnant no medical care is accepted.  No one runs to "get you in."  They calmly ask you to flee.  Return at eight to ten weeks they say.  It's as if your baby is not worth checking into.  At 12 weeks they nearly faint if they hear you have not gotten medical care.  As you start puking you try not to chuckle about you picturing yourself barfing in their waiting room...while munching on cracker number 50. At sixteen weeks you finally "get seen" and you try to get a good look at your moving baby.  Your heart skips a beat as the "student" who comes in first has a hard time finding your little one's heartbeat.  The ultrasound shows a highly mobile baby, so much so mea...

Listen here on youTube , but here are the lyrics: Who are we That You would be mindful of us What do You see That's worth looking our way We are free In ways that we never should be Sweet release From the grip of these chains Like hinges straining from the weight My heart no longer can keep from singing CHORUS All that is within me cries For You alone be glorified Emmanuel . God with us My heart sings a brand new song T he debt is paid these chains are gone Emmanuel . God with us Lord . You know Our hearts don't deserve Your glory Still You show A love we cannot afford Such a tiny offering Compared to Calvary But nevertheless We lay it at your feet Such a tiny offering Compared to Calvary But nevertheless We lay this at your feet ----------- As I stood there worshiping my Savior I was humbled.  The songs that morning were all focused on His faithfulness, His mercy, and our desperate need for Him.  It's truly been my walk with the Lor...

Writing another post while my daughter roams my parent's house sure to find treasures.  No doubt.  But until then... My husband is awesome.  Even though he hates snuggling, he tolerates it because that's my love language.  (Not cuddling, but touch.)  He's working full-time and returns to our house in Ames.  He's working hours at night on the house. Our bathroom currently I haven't seen him for over three days.  For some of you that's no big deal.  You have to go weeks, months, or even years without seeing your loved one.  And I can never understand how you do it.  I can hardly make it past two days before I go into curl up mode.  (Yes, I literally curl up with Jon's pillow at night to fall asleep.)  My love language is a toss up between touch and quality time.  So ANY time away from Jon is miserable.  I feel so distant.  Our communication suffers.  And so does our marriage. But lucky for me I can e...

Because I'm not going to say "stuff" on Facebook anymore , here are my thoughts. Did you watch the finale of the Biggest Loser?  I did.  I didn't watch any part of that show until the finale (however I've seen previous episodes from different seasons so I know how it "works").  In the finale they announce the winner who is called "The Biggest Loser" (interesting name I think so) and they win a ton of money.  Which is pretty awesome.... have something happen in your life, result to food, poor eating habits and life changes, etc.  Then go on the show with a ton of other people, work hard, change those habits, and get a chance to win a ton of money for your effort.  It's kind of a cool idea for a TV show, rather it's the best decision making or not. However every ONE who knows about the show has clearly posted thoughts, posts, links, etc on Facebook regarding last night's winner.  She went from a size 20 to 0/2.  She looks on the t...

Ellie turned 16 months old today.  The last post I wrote about her was 15 months old , and nothing much has changed since then.  She still wants to hold your hands to help her walk, she's finally past the "I will only eat baby food" stage, and talking nonstop. Her new words keep adding almost daily.  The ones she says the most: Mama (any thing to do with eating or nursing), Daddy, Grah-ma (Grandma), Gah-pa (Grandpa), more (helps at meal times), done, down, no, book, Abby (parent's dog), apple (sounds a lot like Abby), and ball.  Some words we've heard her say before but not repeatedly: Sam (her cousin), dog, moo, oww, uh-oh (usually when something drops). It has truly been a blessing to us to have her know all these words!  Communicating with a toddler can be very difficult when you don't know what they want or need.  They can't speak their mind.  And they definitely know they are frustrated!!  So lately it's been helpful to have her at leas...